General Is it normal for a person with ptsd to think that people think you are just crazy and faking ptsd for secondary gain

[Never_falter2]

I am sorry, I hope that this question is not offensive. My vet on the one hand is very much ashamed of his diagnosis but on the other hand does think that people do think that he does not have ptsd but is just a man who was born weak and crazy and is faking it for the secondary gain... and this is also the reason why he often avoids other vets.
He saw much less action than many and is afraid that people who saw more action have a negative opinion of him and his “ptsd“. I put ptsd in quotation marks, because he makes quotation marks in the air with his fingers when he says that.
I am not sure if it is okay to start a new thread but thought it was just too much of topic in the old one.

 

[Sweetpea76]

What's the secondary gain of PTSD?

 

[Never_falter2]

Sorry, I habe only time for a short answer. He does think maybe he s just plain crazy... you know like mad... like born weak and crazy... but people have a higher opinion of a person who served their country. When a person is just crazy the feel sorry for him but vet does want them to be at least a bit proud of him.
Not many people know about his problems but when he tells him about his problems he also tells them he was diagnosed with combat ptsd and then they are a bit proud... like he did this for his country and that makes him a bit proud in return.
This is easier for him to say “I suffer because I did some good in the world“ than to say “I suffer because I am crazy, because of lousy genes or whatever“.

I mean he is ashamed of ptsd but when it turned out he was just born ultra-breakable it would be worse for him... and this is the secondary gain.

I am totally not trying to offend somebody here or to say you are faking it and I totally do not think Vet is faking something or just crazy. I am sure he has something just not sure what it is... and he is being very brave.
I just wanted to ask if others suffer from the same feeling.

 

[EveHarrington]

My question is why does it matter if it’s “normal” or not for a sufferer to have those thoughts?

Is it only ok for a sufferer to think/feel a certain way as long as most other sufferers think/feel the same way?

I hope you see where I’m going with this.

Your thought patterns are such that your sufferer needs to fall into the scope of what is “normal” for ptsd.....but at the same time what you believe to be “normal” does not apply to everyone with the disorder.

I urge you to try and relax.

So what if not one other person on the face of the planet feels/thinks the same way. Would that mean your sufferer is wrong or a freak or abnormal? No! Not at all. Your sufferer needs to be validated for the thoughts and feelings he does have without comparing him to everyone else.

Yes your threads boil down to you (and he) comparing him to everyone else. I highly urge you to stop the comparisons because it will just drive you crazy.

 

[Never_falter2]

No, my what I actually wanted to ask is more like “Are there any other individuals who/whose suffer feels like this and want to discuss this with me cause I want to talk about this to feel less alone“.

 

[Sweetpea76]

He saw much less action than many and is afraid that people who saw more action have a negative opinion of him and his “ptsd“. I put ptsd in quotation marks, because he makes quotation marks in the air with his fingers when he says that.

I'd say this is common. People fall into the comparing trauma game. PTSD is PTSD though. It's like trying to decide if getting raped is worse than getting shot, or if surviving a tornado is worse than being in a horrible car accident. Combat trauma is combat trauma... even not being in a combat situation, but being in a combat zone waiting on random mortars to fall on you day in and day out. Its a TYPE of trauma, not a severity. It's "oh shit, I'm gonna die" trauma... if that makes sense.

 

[Nessa7]

I think this is a normal reaction for people generally. For a less emotionally charged example, my feet are big for a woman and really flat. They're like flippers. Sometimes, my feet will make little fart noises when I'm walking across the kitchen floor barefoot because they suction to the ground. I'm insecure about it.

Do other people actually notice any of the little things about my feet that I think are embarrassing? No. No one thinks that much about my feet. I don't judge other people's feet and think it would actually be wrong to, but that logic doesn't stop me from thinking that people think my feet are ugly and are noticing them when I'm feeling insecure.

It's kind of the same idea. When you're embarrassed about something, you assume that everyone notices it and thinks it's something to be embarrassed about, too. It might be irrational or go against your values, but that doesn't matter if your insecurities are stronger than your self-esteem.

 

[blackemerald1]

I agree with you @Never_falter and I get what you mean. I don't know of anyone in real life with PTSD. I am upset that I have the disorder and I don't know how to reach out in real life and risk telling people. I know on an academic level why I have ptsd but try telling that to my heart and emotional self. :wtf:

I have been reminded over and over by people who ought to know - that ptsd is not a sign of weakness, cowardice or maligning or that I have some genetic or madness/crazy disposition that caused me to have ptsd but you know... I still have a really difficult time reaching out or admitting anywhere but here that I have it.

Oh but I need to add that when I was diagnosed this condition wasn't anywhere near as publicly known as it is now. I did get shunned when my friends, family and colleagues found out or were told. So there is a big shame factor I feel very deeply too.

 

[Never_falter2]

When was this @blackemerald1?

 

[Abstract]

You will see this forum stuffed full of people discussing how they must just be crazy, faking, psychotic, attention seeking weak etc etc etc etc. Not everyone as people are unique. Personally I did all those things and more. Was convinced had factitious disorder or was delusional. I would physically attack myself as a result of this. Many are also treated badly or hear others make comments about PTSd and internalise this.

This is again mostly usually about denial, shame etc. Same topic as your other thread and some of the past ones. As you mentioned.

There are also people who have faked PTSD to get finacial payouts.

 

[blackemerald1]

There are also people who have faked PTSD to get finacial payouts.

^^This is a big issue in my country. Now that the Insurer's and Courts are involved Hell will freeze over before anyone makes a decision based on compassion and practicality. What a mess!

Another issue that really, really gets to me is the sheer number of defendants in the legal system putting up a defence of ptsd when charged with heinous crimes. They can try and keep trying I suppose, but what a massive waste of taxpayers money. Any defence will be tested by a good prosecution and Court, so once the mental health of a perpetrator is up for discussion a million 'experts' all saying the opposite to each other create a really confused jury and an even more misinformed pubic more often than not. :wtf:

Worst of all, the regular person watching and listening sees and hears over and over the initialism ptsd connected with a terrible crime. Guess what happens? The obvious - the public start to be persuaded that ptsd is a reason serious crimes are perpetrated. It's only a short jump to thinking ptsd and crime go together and then we are all branded with the same iron. :banghead:

 

[blackemerald1]

When was this

Sorry - when was what?
When I got it?
When I was diagnosed?
When I was told not to be ashamed etc.,
When I was shunned?