Is Life With Ptsd Worth Living?

[InHell11]

I am not so sure. I mean I am burnt out and sick of it, yet I'm stuck with it. It brings pain and misery, sometimes I am able to alleviate that for a little while, or distract myself enough to where I don't notice too much. Then the symptoms still continue, I might have a good day and wake up the next morning wishing I hadn't.

Then to top it off people don't understand(like family) some of them try, but they just don't comprehend exactly how bad it really is. Then I am never sure of myself and feel way more guilt than I should about everything so I wonder if I even have PTSD or if I just failed at life to begin with or both. As of late its getting harder and harder to function, the symptoms have prevented me from completing college and working hence why I am applying for SSI. However, its getting even worse like to the point I can barely function in daily life like keeping up with showers, brushing my hair, doing my laundry and even keeping my therapy and other appointments is getting to be quite the issue.

I guess I am sort of waiting things out, still working on SSI and financial help that is available since I don't have it yet. Just not sure what feels like the inevitable stress induced mental breakdown, is willing to wait it out long enough for me to complete all that.

Maybe it gets better, but maybe it doesn't if it doesn't how then to I convince myself life is indeed worth all the pain and misery.

 

[a3a2]

Have you seen your PC doc? Perhaps he can help with some meds....at least until you can start therapy. Yes. It is worth it. But some times it sure doesn't feel like it. Gentle hugs to you.

 

[rightkindofme]

I have had a lot of days when I saw no point. I've had a lot of good days in a row right now so I feel hope.

Life is change. No matter what things will change at some point. I hold on to that.

 

[therapybankrupt]

InHell. We all have been in this place and some of us longer than others. I just dove in and researched what was available to help with healing. I continue to learn tools. This forum is a plethora of information from sufferer's who have tried different therapies and learned all sorts of coping skills. It is my opinion I would not be without a trauma therapist but I found a whole lot of answers and ah ha moments myself here. The drugs help to. Although I will not stay on them forever. Another piece of my journey I will work into. Hope you can find the peace you seek until you get the answers and help you need.

tb

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I know the feelings you're talking about. Sometimes they're consuming. And sometimes they're not. For me that is. I still struggle a lot and I have a lot of work to do in therapy. But I just wanted to share with you that bad days come and even though they feel like they might never end somehow they do.

You're not alone and there is help for you. When you get to the help that works best for you you'll know it. It'll be a bit like hitting a nerve. But in a good way. Hold on and don't give up. I'm not there yet either but I know there will be a day when I will look back on this. From the other side. A more healthy and more functioning side. And I believe you will too. Don't beat yourself up. PTSD is hard enough. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

 

[InHell11]

I am in therapy, I have an appointment this week. as for meds I have trazodone to help me sleep and for anxiety and I guess it is supposed to have anti-depressant effects to. However I have only been taking it when I absolutely need it not as much as its recommended so I don't run out since I haven't been able to afford to get the re-fill.

I'll certainly talk to the therapist about how I feel, though I don't exactly want to.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Trazodone is only $4/month or $10/3 months at wal-Mart (target, too? Their lists are similar)

 

[Kiki lou]

I think anyone who suffers with PTSD knows there are times of great despair and times where we can find that there may be peace ahead. For me the hardest thing has been the being out of control of my own emotions and reactions to certain things. Therapy is an amazing help to me, but the letting go and letting people in is terribly difficult, but do it. It will help. Reach out to someone, there are people who will listen and will care. I know you can make it through this and believe you will have better days ahead. Life is worth the fight

 

[InHell11]

Not sure if I can get the trazodone there because its a re-fill through the same place I go to therapy, so its on their records I don't have a physical copy of the prescription. And I don't have income my mom is covering most of my expenses for now, but she can't really afford to. I don't know it probably seems more complicated than it is. Unfortunately I probably have to wait till next month when I meet with the psychiatrist to do much about that.

To be honest though it doesn't really seem to do much for the depression, its defiantly more of a sedative so it helps me sleep and can calm down the worst of anxiety symptoms but it certainly doesn't help me function any better.

I am working on getting financial help so I have a somewhat consistent income and can actually cover necessary costs instead of needing money my family may or may not have. I don't exactly like the idea of depending on SSI and state assistance but I don't really have much choice. Even that process stresses me out beyond reason, even though I know it will help with proper treatment and all that. Of course there is no guarantee I'll get it I am currently appealing the denial of it.

 

[InHell11]

Therapy is an amazing help to me, but the letting go and letting people in is terribly difficult, but do it. It will help. Reach out to someone, there are people who will listen and will care. I know you can make it through this and believe you will have better days ahead. Life is worth the fight

For some reason I haven't really ever gotten anywhere with therapy, I guess it tends to be very difficult trying to express how I really feel, rather than the not so bad version. I certainly find it very difficult when I have so many past experiences of being ridiculed for having difficulties. I do try to be more open in therapy(certainly not around people in general) but even with therapists sometimes the fear of that sort of treatment sometimes still overrules the knowledge they are there to help or at least its not to out there to assume they are. So its hard not to sort of fake that I am feeling a bit better than I am.

 

[heidi]

When I am doing especially bad I'll normally tell myself to wait until I get out of that space to see how I feel about it. With applying for SSI is it possible that the stress is aggravating things at the moment?

 

[Tosh]

Yeah it's worth it!! Things will get better... What really helped me was learning different strategies to cope with my symptoms. It takes time to find what will help you the most.