General Is my partner abusive?am i crazy am i selfish?

[dubliner38]

I've threatened to leave so many times and I think about it alot but he will say things like she's his d...

go to your family tell them every thing and never go back to him. my wife had 3 kids when we got toghter I have raised them for around 15 years. he has you traped and he will keep you there. you have to take the jump go to your family and stay there it will be hard but it wil be safe

 

[dubliner38]

get out go see your family and tell them what is realy happening. you may need to stay there for a bit. ether way leave when he aint there and dont look back. my wife was around 30 when we got married she had kids.

 

[gemzkirsty]

Im sorry I've not replied til now a lot has happened. My partner has left the home following another violent angry outburst but this time in front of my friends. I guess to some extent the situation meant him leaving was taken out of my control somewhat despite me telling him to go. I have seen him since he has been to see.his therapist and they are escalating support and intervention as I have told him he needs to stay away to.sort himself out if he truly loves me he truly wants to change than to show me but not from my home. To do.it for himself and the children. I worry as where he is staying he has no support and the environment is toxic further enabling his cannabis addiction. He tells me this is not the case but I don't believe this as.there is always 5 people at any time there smoking bongs. He has nowhere else to.go.and no money as he has been asking me for it. I have it to him at first.but have refused recently as I think.it is going on.weed and I won't help.him do that. Hrs not been.going to work.since being up.there as he said he has no.bed at night barely sleeps so tired and feels I'll all the time. I know my kids come first hence he's not here and I'm on my own. I still want to help him I do believe he can.change and mostly deep down wants to but how will he up.there

 

[Gs172003]

Im sorry I've not replied til now a lot has happened. My partner has left the home following another violent angry...

His care at this point is not your problem. Your care is .

 

[Neverthesame]

If you want to help him, leave him there. Don't bring him back. Don't give him money.
His inability to sleep because of not having a bed is not good enough.
Pillow, blanket, couch cushions. The sooner he goes back to work, the sooner he can buy a bed. Anything else is just whining. After all, his inability to conduct himself as a civilised person is why he's found himself in his current predicament. An uncomfortable sleeping arrangement is a far cry from freezing to death in a cardboard box in a dark alley.
He'll live.

ETA: He knows what he's done to get kicked out of your house.
He also knows what he needs to do to be allowed back in.
All you need to do, is hold him to it.

You aren't asking the impossible, nor are you responsible for his choices.
You are however, responsible for your children and yourself. That's it.
You can do this.