Well. Today was interesting. She didn’t leave, but she wants me to add a counseling support group on the side, where I can practice tools and get outside support. She’s done with us trying to convince each other on changing our viewpoints on what I need between sessions. Even though I agree that I do need the extra support, I’m feeling a big sense of shame and sadness. I also feel stupid for falling back into this. I have a feeling my psychiatrist will tell me that it’s because we/I lowered my meds, I think it’s estrogen related, but my doctors don’t want me to take estrogen and my therapist reminded me that I’ve been having these attachment issues since I was three. I wanted to lower my Effexor because I was gaining weight and my blood pressure had gone up. Anyway, now I need to research programs or books. I may try codependents anonymous first—since it’s free. I’m not 100% sure if that is what I need, though.
