Is Rambling speech during every therapy session dissociation or common? T doesn't seem to like it...

[asimone]

It's a good indication of how upset I am and sometimes we have to just let me run out of steam and pick it up at the next session. It's not something you should be embarassed about. It's just a maladaptive coping mechanism that you need to work on.

Is she a trauma therapist? That might be what you need.

I think that's what she's letting me do right now, just let me talk for now until she said that comment (I was rambling about my mom and doctor reacting poorly to another rambling/anger episode that happened outside therapy). She's actually the most experienced trauma therapist I've found (and the only one I've liked so far). I've tried quite a few and I was amazed at how clueless and aggressive they all were...

There is another thing to think about. Did she actually say that or is that what you heard? I've done this a couple (dozen) times with my T. I leave her office just sure that she said something insulting, only to find out the next week that it was my cognitive distortion kicking in. So hopefully talking with her will help

I suspect it could be what I heard vs. what was said. It did trigger/activate me, so it's likely I've read it as danger instead of feedback.

 

[Friday]

My bouts of verbal diarrhea come from a few different places... although quite a few are kissing cousins.

- Avoidance ... I could just as easily be sitting silent or saying lalalalala
- Self Defense... A wall of words, with the important bits indistinguishable from the dross.
- Misdirection... here’s something shiny for YOU to look at, that affects ME not at all.
- Fear... If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit
- Desperation... I am trying So. Mother f*cking. Hard.... but this is the end result??? :bag::arghh;
- Loneliness... A person! To talk to! Hello!
- TBI... Come to find, when you bang your head really hard? Sometimes it’s impossible to filter/edit/be concise... both immediately following as well as under certain kinds of stress years and years later. :facepalm: Oh right temporal lobe, I’m sorry. I didn’t appreciate you as much as I should have before I smooshed you.
- Pandora’s Box... This is more trauma-trauma rather than a lot to say about nothing; it’s extremely difficult to start me talking, but when I do? I don’t shut up.

 

[The Albatross]

This is the part that's missing. I'm going in and talking and talking but time runs out before we can get to much education, coping or tools. When I ask how to fix it, she says awareness is the first step but we haven't gotten much further. I'm aware, but also pretty jumpy so maybe she is just trying to go slow.

Glad it may be assistive. I prioritized my therapy sessions and worked my ass of in between because I was desperate to get what I needed no matter now uncomfortable. A "for instance". I spent 1 1/2 years in therapy for ADD/ADHD. I spent 9 months and completed therapy a couple of years or so later when I had a near traumatic break. I "graduated" and it stuck. A lot of my process what the absolute necessity that I do/get/acquire this... over my emotional qualms. Sort of a necessity is the mother of invention (for coping and skill/tools acquisition on the fast track). Don't recommend it for everyone... it was just the way I approached and did it. Thus far... treatment has stuck and the difficulty was worth it.

 

[Mach123]

Simply put my therapist says it's part of my oral fixation.

 

[Justmehere]

It’s possibly the therapy interfering behavior called “storytelling.” It’s a defensive maladaptive coping skill. It’s a wall. It’s a behavioral manifestation of the symptom of avoidance.

I didn’t realize I was doing it myself until a trauma therapist called it out and would have me ground right at the start of sessions. Before we started even talking about ANYTHING. We made a mutual commitment to no storytelling. (It’s subtle but real problem for me.) Another trauma therapist wouldn’t ever ask how I was doing or about my week.

She would ask, “What skill are we working on today?”

As you have discovered, therapy isn’t actually a place to tell all the stories of the week or opinions or vents or etc —- and that’s because that’s more like a parent to a pre-teen or maybe a friend relationship. It’s doesn’t really let the therapist be a therapist to you.

It’s seems driven by anxiety for you... and perhaps whatever might be driving you to put the therapist out of the therapist role and more into a parent/friend role.

Deal with the anxiety and resistance to the therapist being a therapist via other means... and the storytelling won’t be something you feel driven to do to cope with the anxiety or other feelings you feel.

Might need to make a ground rule for no more storytelling and right at the start, jump into skills and creating safety in therapy. It may feel super awkward at first to not go over the week, but that’s ok. Really. There might always be some resistance to doing the work in therapy, that’s pretty common. Keep taking the good steps you are taking to recognize the problem and move forward in a new way. It’s worth it. It can change. I’m now at a place where I get annoyed if a therapist wants me to tell more rambling stories about my week. (Lol.)

 

[susannahsays]

Sounds like social anxiety to me.

 

[asimone]

@Friday

Those are really good to know. Thank you!

@The Albatross

I'm really glad you found what works for you. I'm slow, steady, small steps.

@Mach123

Interesting. I never thought of that.

@Justmehere

I'm not rambling about things that aren't relevant to my trauma with her, I'm trying to fit in all the info about my symptoms, reactions, outbursts, how I think it's related, etc. It's only trauma talk but it's not calm, it's like autopilot of me going on and on. I can't stop once I start.

I really do like the grounding idea that you and others mentioned, I think that would be great to incorporate into each session.

I appreciate your response, it's helping me reflect and sort it out and see what's resonating with me.

Sounds like social anxiety to me.

It could be. I have no idea.

 

[jade53]

I don't want you to think I'm uncaring saying that the best thing about this site when I came, was after all the jibberish from doctors and therapists that really didn't know squat about PTSD at the time, and screwed me up more than I already was, hopefully you've already learned that the biggest problem is you're relatively normal considering the circumstances.

 

[Survivor3]

Hey everyone, I'm new here.

Every therapy session I have, T asks me how I am and as soon as I start talking, I can't stop anxiously rambling and venting almost the entire hour, but I'm not even sure of what I'm saying. It's just coming out of me. It's not a conversation and at times I don't feel in my body or grounded.

I bounce from topic to topic to topic, which are related (but only to me), so it seems erratic from the outside I'm sure. Sometimes I realize what's happening - like I can hear myself speak but I still can't stop saying whatever it is I'm saying or I realize afterwards and get really really embarrassed.

I've had this happen at home when I'm upset or angry but it's *every* session and besides feeling like I'm crazy, I'm totally ashamed and can't find anything about it as a symptom online.

My T has tried to interrupt me but it hasn't really worked if it's really bad. I even mentioned I can't seem to stop and she said from her point of view, her eyes just glaze over when I'm talking like that.

Her comment triggered me right away and she saw that it did. I went quiet and somewhere else somehow. The next few days at home, I felt like I was 11-13 years old again and stayed in bed. I'm wondering if that's a type of flashback.

I don't know how to 1. Stop the rambling speech, or find more info about it and 2. Tell my T that her comment made me debate seeing her again (I'm not sure I want to go back) because she wasn't listening and judged me and that sets back trust + safety (even though I bet it's tough from her perspective).

Thoughts?

Hiya asimone. I think the rambling comes from having too many things on your mind. Try to calm yourself down a bit so you can discuss at more detail specific genres of topic. I also think that you need to look at it from your therapists perspective, it's hard for him/her to latch onto a topic of your jumping around all over the place.

I would suggest that before you go in, pick a couple of topics that you want to discuss, (even write them down) and try to stay on topic in the session. I hope this helps and all the best to you. S3.

 

[asimone]

I don't want you to think I'm uncaring saying that the best thing about this site when I came, was after all the jibberish from doctors and therapists that really didn't know squat about PTSD at the time, and screwed me up more than I already was, hopefully you've already learned that the biggest problem is you're relatively normal considering the circumstances.

I'm sorry that you didn't find therapy beneficial. Being able to talk to other people who have PTSD is helpful, I'm glad I found this. :)

 

[asimone]

@Survivor3

Thanks so much! I think writing things down is a good idea.

 

[hithere]

I started seeing a new therapist accidentally. (long story) He's Actually a psychiatrist, but its therapy. This is the way he does therapy, just freely start talking. Right now it's what I need though expensive. Not talking or doing therapy to "fix" anything. Just start talking and oddly I ramble upon the "heart" of the matter. The dr then gives his interpretation, it's pay dirt, and I leave feeling full of grief but ready to walk away from the funeral fire. So rambling for me, with this guy, has been a g-d send. a thousand times more gentle and weirdly enough the trauma is leaking out slowly.