Relationship Is The Therapist Trying To Break Us Up?

[Dandelion]

My boyfriend finally agreed to go to counseling after two years of battling ptsd symptoms. I really don't know what to expect as I'm new to all of this (never been to therapy, etc). He came out saying that the therapist said some things about our relationship, but he wouldn't say what. Of course this concerned me, but I've tried to not pry.

We live about an hour apart and see each other on weekends. We had already planned (before his first counseling session) that I would come down this weekend. Now, he's telling me he doesn't want me to and that the therapist doesn't think it's a good idea either. I couldn't help but ask why because I was stunned and disappointed. That just sent him into a rage and he said because he needs to work through some stuff.

I can't help but have a bad feeling right now. I do know the therapist attributed the bulk of his issues to other things that have happened (nothing to do with us), but I urged him to go to therapy to improve our relationship, not drive us apart! Can anyone please tell me if this is normal? I'm losing my mind with worry :(

 

[Whitneys story]

Unless I misunderstood you he is starting therapy for PTSD. He needs space and time. Couples counseling is a separate issue.

There are some excellent article's in the Wiki section. Also a section for supporters. Your reaction is common. My honest opinion is to study everything you can about PTSD.

He must understand himself before he can begin healing. It is not about you. Learning all you can will enlighten and give you strength. It takes time and no one can walk the steps for another.

Welcome to the Forum! Whitney

 

[Bilby]

As hard as it is Dandelion, I would try to give him the space that he needs to work through things. The fact that he is in therapy is a very good thing.

B x

 

[Dandelion]

Thanks for the feedback. I know, I know. I'm trying to just wait it out and stay positive. I try to be as patient and understanding as I can with him, especially once I realized there was truly something wrong that was causing his abnormal behavior.

I guess I've just developed my own underlying fear that one day he'll shut me out completely like he has with everyone else. Him telling me that the therapist talked about our relationship and saying how he didn't think it was a good idea for us to see each other right now just sent me into panic mode. I guess I'm just scared that the therapist will think I'm not good for him or something. I don't know. It's just hard when you're not getting any support for your own emotions and worries - hence the reason I'm here.

 

[ISupportHer]

Frankly, I can identify with this. It took a while to me to separate out her issues and MY issues. What part I play in the whole PTSD relationship. I feel that I have to look at, and face, my own anxiety in order to be able to keep an even keel. I need to do that in order to model behavior, to some extent. If I am anxious, reacting badly, then it will add to my wife's stress cup.

Not easy. Not something that came natural to me. It is a learned behavior and sometimes WE need outside help. Yes, the forum is a great source of support and advice. Many times WE need professional help and an outside influence like a therapist. It can get better.