Is this derealization?

[sun seeker]

Just trying to put a name to what I am experiencing. It's like the rest of the world is going on as usual only I'm stuck somewhere far away, lost even to myself. Like my consciousness has gone on vacation somewhere and I can't find it. I'm emotionally flat, can carry on what probably seems like a normal conversation if a bit distant, but I have the hardest time having an opinion about anything or making any decisions. I feel like I want to scream for someone to notice that things are terribly wrong inside me, but I don't even know what it is that's wrong. I have no idea what I want or need. It's hard being around people because I feel so distant from them, as if they were living in a different world that I can only interact with from a great distance. It's almost as if I am a different person observing myself.

Any of this sound familiar?

 

[Friday]

I tend to break it down like this (might not be wholly accurate)

- Disassociation = I'm distanced from _______ (the world, other people, my own thoughts / emotions) etc.

- Depersonalization = I'm not real

- Derealization = The world isn't real.

 

[Kailani]

My t said that was dissociating from reality. When you are watching yourself go through motions separate from yourself.

 

[The Albatross]

Sounds more like disassociation to me as well. I do that, but I stay gone however long and don't have the self talk about wanting anybody to see anything's wrong ... I'm just away with awareness but I'm in no big hurry to come back.

For me everything sounds like underwater... sometimes I can't hear anything at all but I'm acting "normal" and am holding up my end of conversations or situations but I don't know what I'm saying. I can "see" from somewhere else (usually on the ceiling or from somewhere else in the room) what I'm doing.

Sounds familiar to me. I don't have very many episodes like that anymore... just like 3 this year... 6 last year... I mark them on a calendar to see if I am stuck or getting some progress on it.

 

[sun seeker]

It seems more like dissociation then... except that usually what I call dissociation is different from this.

 

[The Albatross]

It's easy to get lost in the symptomology... definitions for what I was experiencing didn't really help me much... it was identifying the triggers or stressors that caused them more I guess.