GentleSequoia
New Here
I sometimes feel disconnected, like it's a dream or something. I know I'm here, and I survived something traumatic. I survived a major car accident just a few weeks ago. But where has the time gone? Sometimes I want to cry because I feel like a baby. I cling to my mother, and anyone around me who can give me comfort. I am going to be staying with my sister for a little while and I feel afraid to leave my supportive family, but for personal reasons I need to make the transition. I feel like a baby right now, vulnerable and helpless. I feel so weak and small. I feel so scared. I think about how scary everything feels, like when I was abused, or like how it felt to be woken up from the paramedics after the crash. I've been healing along, but I feel so small, so helplessly tiny in a scary, big world. I have God to protect and love me. And I can always obsessively cling to Him for safety, but right now I feel afraid. I can't believe this happened to me. How do I grieve the fact that it happened to me in the first place? I feel so much more alive, and I'm healthier in just about every way since the crash happened. I'm finally getting my eating disorder under control, I'm fighting off anxiety, I'm praying and leaning on God, but I still sometimes feel that disconnect or disassociation. I sometimes feel scared and helpless. I sometimes feel fragile and weak, like I'm made of glass. If it weren't for the Lord, I'd crumble.
