Is your therapist upset when you dissociate in session ?

[Deeem]

At first I thought my therapist was upset when I disassociate in sessions. It was new to her and new to me so we really didn't know what to do. Or how to feel. She would go to lectures and seminars to learn more about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). She spent countless hours reading books when she was not at work . She had a friend who was experienced in DID and consulted with her often when she didn't understand when I felt sensations or different parts came out. Although she was not experience with DID patients she is determined to help me. I have learned so much about myself and my inner parts doing the three years I've been with her. And we are still learning together. I think that's really cool. She is better than the therapist that I had that where experienced with DID. Now I know she is not mad or afraid when I dissociate in session. She welcomes them and make them feel safe.

 

[Esterio]

hi there Deeem Seem to me that your T is trying her best to help you and make you and all your parts feel welcome and safe. I think that is very important. I don't know Much about DID.I wish you all the best
peace be safe

 

[Deeem]

hi there Deeem Seem to me that your T is trying her best to help you and make you and all your parts fe...

Yes,she is. I feel it is better when we all are working together rather than having a therapist who thinks they know everything. Thank you for your response.

 

[NightSky]

My T tells me sometimes about how she learned about DID while working with a DID client. She did what yours is doing. And they were very successful together. I struggle with dissociating in sessions so she will use examples from her first client and what she learned working with her. And it’s helpful to me even though I don’t have DID. I’m glad you have her.

 

[Butterflies2023]

Can you tell me how it might appear when you dissociate. I think I do as well but my T never said - hey did you know you are dissociating?

 

[Deeem]

It is hard to explain, and dissociation may be different for other people. When I dissociate it's like I am standing on the outside of my body watching and hearing everything that is happening. However, I am not able to say or do anything ,but watch my inner parts of myself interact with the outside world.

When I am with my therapist she will let me know what part was out and ask me was I listen. Sometimes I am in my inner safe place, (That's a grounding technique I use to stay safe). When I am not aware of what has happened
during dissociation my therapist will let me know what part was out and what happened and what they talked about.

When I am home and dissociate I can usually tell which parts were out. If it's the younger pats they like to color and play with there dolls. My teenage part like putting on makeup. My protective and mommy part cleans up the house or do laundry.

It is really hard to explain and it's complicated, but I hope you are able to get a sense of what I feel like when I disassociate.

 

[NightSky]

I know I am when I start to feel floaty and/or dizzy. Sometimes I fixate on a spot in the room and everything on the peripheral becomes dark, like tunnel vision and my T’s voice sounds far away. Sometimes it’s more mild and I feel floaty or foggy and have to concentrate hard to take in what she’s saying. And then I leave and forget the majority of the session. Sometimes I just feel out of body and disconnected to emotions so I will retell something that should be upsetting but I feel numb and distant. Just to add some more examples...

 

[Deeem]

I really don't know when I'm going to disassociate. I can be in a conversation with my therapist and a part come out and take over without me knowing it . My therapist says she knows the difference or when I disassociate because of my facial expressions and body language. I can't tell of any warning signs. When I feel body sensations my therapist says it is a flashback.

 

[Butterflies2023]

Oh how miserable I feel ....I oftener focused on the wall outlet - on the other side was the waiting room and steps that led the way out. I just hate that our past is just never cut off from the rest of ourselves. I want to bury it and leave it forever behind. But I need the body to forget. Because it doesn't I don't know who I see in a mirror. And walk through life as an empty shell

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I am not so down or low spirited .... only when I think how nice it would be to successfully date or have a beautiful relationship.

 

[Deeem]

I understand. Dating and having a relationship I think is not in my vocabulary . Yes it hurts because I feel as though I deserve to be loved and cared for. I hope one day before I leave this earth I can experience that joy.

I have a really good therapist. She keep me focused on the positive outcome of our therapy. Sometimes I wonder how long is my past will affect my future?

 

[Cannottakethis]

I only recently started dissociating in therapy, I think bc of the deep stuff we're working on. The first time I felt it coming and was able to tell him. Second time I couldn't tell him and just went away. For me I can be watching and listening to him and it just starts fading out till I can't hear him anymore and I go into my head. He is so caring and nice about it.