catlover26
Silver Member
I made such a mistake. I know I did. My Vet I am dating is 16 yrs older than me. I am 55. So that with the ptsd has it's own challenges. But I knew after I got to know him that the relationship would be worth it. There has been several time that my emotions have gotten carried away and he can't handle the conflict and will want to call it quits. Even if it is minor discussions he thinks they are arguments and just can't handle them.
He has caller id on his TV so he got a call from a woman while I was there and was on the phone at least 30 minutes. He explained to me before that he talks to this lady at a nursing home to help her and I accept that but this was someone different. I later found out she was using someone else's phone.
I had a rough day at work and was upset anyway which is not an excuse. But I listened at the door for a minute while he was talking outside. When he came in he said something about talking to his brother and I said but you talked to some friend too. He said she wasn't really a friend. Then I said something like "Well it sounded like you were friends when you were talking". So he knew I had been listening.
He was so upset that I wouldn't trust him that there has been no one else but me. It is hard for me being married 30 yrs and divorced and having a few friends that just 'left' me to learn how to trust people. I apologized and cried. He told me several times to leave but I wouldn't. He said a relationship is built on trust and how can it go on after this happened. But I was more curious on who she was then not trusting him is what I told him. But he said he wouldn't have that go on in his house. I tried to sit there a while until he calmed down some more. I told him we both needed and loved each other and he agreed. He finally said if we can work it out it won't be tonight.
I'm not sure what else I can do. From the way he explained it it was like after something like this happens our relationship has changed. I know what I did was wrong but last year several times it seemed to me he was ending our relationship because of some discussion we had that made him upset. So this has happened before. Sorry this is so long. I just need to get all of this out. I don't want to lose him.
He has caller id on his TV so he got a call from a woman while I was there and was on the phone at least 30 minutes. He explained to me before that he talks to this lady at a nursing home to help her and I accept that but this was someone different. I later found out she was using someone else's phone.
I had a rough day at work and was upset anyway which is not an excuse. But I listened at the door for a minute while he was talking outside. When he came in he said something about talking to his brother and I said but you talked to some friend too. He said she wasn't really a friend. Then I said something like "Well it sounded like you were friends when you were talking". So he knew I had been listening.
He was so upset that I wouldn't trust him that there has been no one else but me. It is hard for me being married 30 yrs and divorced and having a few friends that just 'left' me to learn how to trust people. I apologized and cried. He told me several times to leave but I wouldn't. He said a relationship is built on trust and how can it go on after this happened. But I was more curious on who she was then not trusting him is what I told him. But he said he wouldn't have that go on in his house. I tried to sit there a while until he calmed down some more. I told him we both needed and loved each other and he agreed. He finally said if we can work it out it won't be tonight.
I'm not sure what else I can do. From the way he explained it it was like after something like this happens our relationship has changed. I know what I did was wrong but last year several times it seemed to me he was ending our relationship because of some discussion we had that made him upset. So this has happened before. Sorry this is so long. I just need to get all of this out. I don't want to lose him.
