It Feels Like The End Of The Game

[hodge]

Honey, I know how you feel, believe me. I fight this feeling, too. You have to find a way to keep on keeping on. You were a nurse, right? Maybe you can do some part-time work helping homeless people. That would really help you a lot, knowing you are helping people less capable than yourself. I am doing it part-time by doing misc. work for a homeless shelter online. That and making dinner for my husband every day is the only thing that makes me feel useful.

 

[Justmehere]

Depression is tough. :hug: @reallydown

 

[ms spock]

Depression is hideous @Justmehere @reallydown. It is the worst when you are stuck in it.

 

[reallydown]

Thanks, all! It's making me feel less alone. It's a little complicated right now for therapy (work related stuff) but I am hoping to have a clearer picture some time next month. As for little things, I decide to try but then back out because I just don't feel like it ...Next couple of months will be hard for me; and April, as well.

 

[ms spock]

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: @reallydown :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[reallydown]

Thanks. Sigh. Someone stole a bunch of things (probably over Christmas)...I don't care too much for most of it as it can be replaced but also stole some things with sentimental value and I am feeling very down about that...It may not seem like something to get depressed over and I probably wouldn't be if that item, connected to a beloved pet (who's gone) that was stolen...Sigh.

 

[Ed Norton]

The superimposition of depression over PTSD feels terrible. I think that I know exactly where you're coming from. What helps for me, at least a little, is what psychologists call 'behavioral activation' which is when you go through the motions of a nondepressed person, daily living activities, excercise etc. Nobody knows if the brain chemicals change then you get depressed or if the depressive situation changes the brain to a depressed state. I'm not fully out of it by any means but it does help to some extent.

:hug:s @reallydown

 

[ms spock]

The superimposition of depression over PTSD feels terrible. I think that I know exactly where you're coming from. What helps for me, at least a little, is what psychologists call 'behavioral activation' which is when you go through the motions of a nondepressed person, daily living activities, excercise etc. Nobody knows if the brain chemicals change then you get depressed or if the depressive situation changes the brain to a depressed state. I'm not fully out of it by any means but it does help to some extent.

:hug:s @reallydown

I hadn't heard it called "behavioural activation" before but it makes sense. They talk about this a lot in "The Mindful Way Through Depression" about how you have to act before you feel better.

My psychiatrist said to me for the longest time that nothing comes of nothing. I didn't get it for the longest time. I was really stuck.

 

[reallydown]

I am tired of attempting to explain my reality to others. It shouldn't matter anyway. Nevertheless, it's frustrating not to get understanding...Yes, there is a degree of depression; that, however, doesn't automatically invalidate everything I'm saying. Even when I am having good (in terms of the ptsd and depression days), there are certain permeating thoughts and analyses of things that are not a result of my depression but of observation. Anyway, I don't feel like going into it more now.

 

[Ed Norton]

I hate to assume but do you mean suicidal ideation without major depression? I have learned another technique when my depression wasn't at a peak but I still suffered from suicidal (and homicidal) ideation. Before I go into that I just want to be sure. I really want to understand and my apologies if I am misunderstanding.

 

[reallydown]

Thanks, Ed. I think that's part of it. But also when my analysis says things in the world will get a lot worse before they get better etc...people assume it's the depression talking.

 

[Tinyflame]

there are certain permeating thoughts and analyses of things that are not a result of my depression but of observation.

Dear @reallydown , I believe that. Although all our thoughts will influence what we feel (which in fact, can be atypical depression-, versus biochemically induced depression).

I think it is very hard for us to imagine unexpected good things. By virtue of being unexpected, & our pasts, we never factor them in. :(

I am so sorry for your loss, especially the items of heart/ sentimental value. :(

:hug: 's to you.