It's A Miracle?

[desiderata310]

Here's a new one:

My therapist told me today that he felt that given what I have been through in the past that it is nothing short of a miracle that I am not either: a prostitute, hooked on meth or dead.

Somehow this didn't make me feel better about where I am today.

I know he meant it to be encouraging because I was railing against myself today(trust me there is plenty to look at and hate) but it didn't make me feel better. It fed into the line of "I don't belong here" and I'm trying hard not to spiral down tonight.

What the hell?

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Hi Desiderata -

It's easy to find the stuff about ourselves to hate - so much harder to find the good stuff.

I know from my own side when all I can see is the negative in me, it is really hard to find the positive anywhere - even when someone is trying to do or say something to help.

I realized though that sometimes getting out of my negative thoughts can come by just looking outside myself and seeing that other people are trying to help - even though it is not done very skillfully.

Anyway, I hope you can find a way out of the spiral soon -

Namaste - Laurie

 

[In Exile]

Yeah, my therapist used to say things like that and it didn't help me feel any better, either.

What kind of things have helped you stop spiraling down before?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Doctors and therapists have a knack for saying the wrong thing, and its often based on their narrow view of the world, either based on the limited scope of patients they've seen or what "should be" based on all of the things they've read. I know it's not easy, but try and just ignore what your therapist said.

Gee, I'm not quite sure why telling you that you *should* be a meth-head prostitute didn't make you feel better. Every time I've been told that it's put me over the moon. *sarcasm*

 

[Tinyflame]

Maybe it's just best to stop at the You are a Miracle part. That says a tremendous amount about you, and your courage and determination and recovery, and that you sound like a really remarkble person. :) :tup:

 

[Seasounds]

Your instincts and feelings sound good to me. I hate it when therapists can't couch their own bewilderment, in positive terms. Better to say, "Welcome, you are inspiring. Congratulations on your hard work, intelligence, and diligence. You are a miracle."

And even more to the point, I'd ask the therapist to stop praising me, and instead, deal with me and my feelings, in the present

 

[ghotiff]

I hate comparisons. Its not helpful for me for a T etc to compare me with someone else, even if that includes a potentially 'worse' version of myself. It always feels like minimisation of where I am at. I don't care that I could/should be worse, where I am now is crap enough. It doesn't help to feel guilty for not feeling 'grateful' enough because I could/should have been worse.

Rant over.

 

[BloomInWinter]

My therapists have said something similar to me, usually whenever I'm beating up on myself too much for not being healed.

As I began to have compassion for myself and my self-esteem got better, I now see these comments as a simple reminder of how strong I was to survive against the odds. My therapists do have great respect for the strengths I have shown and wanted me to be aware of what I wasn't seeing in myself.

That is no small thing.