Relationship It's Been Awhile Since I Posted

[KyGirl31]

Okay so I haven't posted in here in awhile. My sufferer drained me and I'd come in here and read but it was like reliving it with every story.

We still text and we've taken a few more breaks but still come right back to each other. I got to see some more parts of him since I last posted in here. He really is just a sweetheart deep down and so hilarious.This guy can make me snort from laughing so hard.

However this is my issue. I wanna see him. It's been a year and yes a roller coaster of one but I wanna see him. We live 5 hours apart and it's like or it feels so real and that he wants to see me to but why doesn't he just come here? His life is more full than I could even begin to explain.He keeps saying " I will" but ya know, WHEN? So 3 days ago I tell him that I give up, that we are to far apart and his life is to busy.I wasn't being mean, I just...well I'm giving up..I feel it. It's just hard to let go because I don't even look at any other men, I have 0 interest in anyone else. He goes into being mean and telling me he doesn't want to hear my bullshit. That I'm heartless and I don't understand what he goes through or could have went through...what does that even mean?

I care very deeply for him but what am I suppose to do? He won't come see me but blows up when I feel like I'm done. I'm so lost. How can you not expect someone to walk away from you if you won't even come see that person? He tells me I know him better than anyone..I'm just SO lost:(

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I don't know if there is much of anything you can do. He sounds like he's struggling. He likes that you're supportive, but pushing beyond that causes stress and he runs away. It wouldn't matter if you said you just want to support him as a friend because things have already progressed beyond that.

Honestly, it's not so much about you. Stress levels are controlling the ship right now. If he feels stressed, he puts space between the two of you.

None of us WANT to be alone. What we want and need most of all is to not be so stressed. (Read....this is a need, not a want....relationships, yes, we need them in a sense, but this need is not as important as feeling less stressed). Sorry if this doesn't make much sense as it's hard to explain to someone on the other side.

Bottom line, you two may have magical chemistry but that doesn't change the fact that your needs & wants are not aligned.

 

[nursenurse]

Said it before ... walk away. You present yourself like prime bait on a hook, but the minute you fight, he is gone. Why do this to yourself? You are so smart, and so wonderful. Find someone who can appreciate that about you.

I endured a 21 yr marriage to a non PTSD relationship, and if what you are saying is happening now, it does not get better, given your history.

You are not heartless, you are not mean, and it will never end until you start thinking good things about yourself, and give him the door slam in the arse.

He might have someone else in the wings, you just don't know. I just won at the casino, and I bet I would win again with that one :(

Stop equating your self worth with him.

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

I can feel your pain. I understand it. I believe he cares about you, but, I have to say, he doesn't seem ready. You have given him time, support, and love. You have compromised what you want and need. I've been there. I'm sorry, but it just sounds like he isn't capable if making you any kind of priority. I hate to say it, but I think it's time to give up.

We want to be a positive in their lives, but to a degree, a relationship is just one stressor for them. That's so hard to accept, but we can't change that. It hurts, but protect yourself. We can only put them first for just so long. You deserve more. Know that. I believe he's a good guy, but he just isn't capable of what you need.

<hug>

Hope it gets easier.

 

[KyGirl31]

I agree and I finally accept it. I hadn't because I cared so much but your right, I have to let go!

 

[KyGirl31]

Bewitched how are you? It's been awhile!

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

I'd like to say good, but it's a process. Still no contact. It's really hard getting over a broken heart when there is no closure. But, working on getting past it. One day at a time.