It's Good To Talk

[Meadowsweet]

I've always hidden anything emotional. I wasn't trained to go to someone with emotional problems, so I never have done, I've felt it was wrong.

Then when I tried to go to people when my emotional problems were off the scale due to trauma, it was too much for people, so again, I got the message that it is wrong to talk about emotions to others.

In therapy, talking about trauma makes me feel like crap, I know it's meant to, but it doesn't immediately go with the idea that it's good to talk. But last therapy session, I fell out with a friend recently, and I've been upset and decided I should talk about that. I noted on the way that I didn't want to, it doesn't feel good to talk about it when I just want to forget about it and move on (that's my default reaction).

But I did talk about it, and I felt better almost straight away. Unlike trauma, this isn't a deeply stuck event, and it's not something that therapy is needed for. But I was thinking about the future, and am trying to appreciate that it will be good to talk to friends (when I have some) when the little everyday (non-trauma) problems occur.

I was just interested to see how other people find talking about the little things helps.

 

[franciemarnie]

Yes, I agree talking about the little things help. When I look back on my life, the times I had a few people I trusted to talk over things with - the good and not so good - were the happiest. I love connecting with people that way. I like the catharsis and I like to listen to others too.

 

[Abstract]

I never talked about any of the little things to others and doing so online has been an important step for me that I have had to build up tolerance doing. But very helpful when I get past the old messengers in my head.

Glad you managed to do this.

 

[GingerAli]

I understand what your saying. I grew up in a home that taught me no one wanted to hear about problems and to suck it up. My dad got very angry when I cried. So I held it in. Then when I struggled very badly at an older age, my friends rand away because they couldn't help me (I didn't know that was why at the time) so it enforced those beliefs in me. It's so hard and I know exactly what your going through. Therapy has been wonderful for me too. Even talking about the "small" stuff is teaching me how to cope. :) I hope that happens for you too!

 

[Seasounds]

You words described my experience.

 

[EverOnly358]

@Meadowsweet,

I really relate to what you're saying. It wasn't safe for me to show emotions as a child, so I didn't. And so I didn't learn how that was supposed to work. As an adult, it's worse... I'm sometimes overwhelmed by too many emotions, emotions that don't fit because they're from emotional flashbacks or just delayed processing or whatever PTSD stuff is happening this week. :confused: It's very frustrating! I think it's great to deal with the small stuff. You can build good skills from the bottom up and gain confidence, too. I just think it's a very positive step!

D123