Supporter It's Too Hard

[Noa]

You need to leave him. You don't need to be abused and I'm not sure if you are safe. He could hurt you physically. If you love him, move out and tell him that if he gets help and changes, you'll consider getting back. but right now - you need to protect your self.

 

[Diamond81]

lovehopepeace

I have to agree that there is a world of difference between PTSD and domestic violence. I once thought "domsetic violence" was only when something got physical. Abuse of the kind and severity you describe has as its end, power and control over the vicitm. This kind of abuse is ongoing and always escalates. It doesn't matter if PTSD is involved.

 

[lovehopepeace]

Thank you Celia - I'm not glad you've experienced it, but I'm glad I'm not alone.

 

[lovehopepeace]

Thanks everyone for your advice/support.

 

[lovehopepeace]

Noa - can't move out. I have no where to go. No family that cares, no friends, no car, no money.

 

[Eleanor]

lovehopepeace - It sounds like it is time to formulate Plan B. Staying in an abusive relationship is a bad option. AND You Always Have Other Options. It sounds like you are in a VERY dangerous situation if you are a married woman with no friends, no car and no money. He has isolated you, and that is a very very dangerous thing. The good news is that you have ALOT more power here than it probably appears to you. An online forum is not the optimal place to work out a plan B - not enough details or resources - but you could call the local domestic violence hotline, and ask them for resources/advice on how to get yourself out. Be prepared, if your husband finds out, for his verbal abuse to escalate and perhaps turn physical. Do you guys have joint checking accounts? Does he have a car? If so, if you are legally married, they are YOURS as well, whatever he says. There are wonderful folks in many kinds of organizations who will help you transition to an independent life and stay safe.

I don't mean to be dramatic - but your posts raised a lot of red flags for me.

Stay safe. Be strong.

 

[Noa]

Are you working? Do you have separate bank accounts?

Obviously him putting you down makes you feel insecure and you have a feeling like you can't manage without him, but you can.