Job Dilemma Insight Welcomed

[mary1979]

Part of me wants to advise getting your medication right first simply because that will take a while and you'll be up and down for some time til you adjust.

Then practical me says, get back on the horse while you can.

I was forced to take a job that was totally out of my comfort zone for pure necessity sake.
It pushed every damned button I have, and some days I would just come home and cry.
But, 5 years later and I'm a different person.
All those old buttons? I laugh about them now.
Sometimes, you just have to do the exact opposite of what you think you need, for growth and strength.

 

[Adrian2016]

Adrian, have you found any good options or people in your life who are encouraging you in any particular de...

That sounds interesting, not sure that I am ready to go back to school though..a little background on me for those that are curious..I am a 21 year old male, I attended a big university for almost a year until I spiraled into complete self destruction with alcohol/drug abuse (something that I struggled with for years) and was kicked out of university and had my full ride scholarship taken..I got into a druken fight with a roommate and ended up getting a felony for resisting an officer when the police showed up..I was blacked out throughout the entire incident...since leaving college my life has basically been a mess if ups and down...mostly downs...I continued for about a year to use and abuse until I violated my probation and spent 4 months in a inner city county jail...I also met my girlfriend of 2 years right before going to jail...these events woke me up to my mistakes and the path I was on and made me get sober..going on a year and a half... I have done well since being released (last January) have held multiple jobs in retail or entry level factory postions and even had a sales job for a short time....however, none of these jobs have worked out and I seem to have a big problem finding a job and keeping it...I'm a good worker I am just easily set off or overwhelmed and once I'm in that mindstate I fold and crack..end up quitting... I had an apartment but fell behind and lost my car and my home... Now I'm living with relatives in my hometown. Trying to figure out how to get my health and life back on track. It has been a long time since I've felt direction or purpose. For any of you that wanted to know a little more, thank you :)

 

[Adrian2016]

And an update regarding the job situation. I decided to fess up to my family members about my recent PTSD diagnosis. I told them that I want to work but that I dont think I'm ready yet because it's a struggle to even make it through each day right now, and any extra stress will just make my situation worse not better right now. That is the advice my doctor gave as well. She said I'm too easily triggered to work at the moment. I'm trying medication and hoping that may speed up recovery..having no luck with one of the meds but that's how meds work until you find the right one sometimes...My goal is to be ready to get a job in about 2 weeks...and if I'm not, i will force myself to push forward anyway, because I cant wait forever...for now, I think I know in my heart that I made the right choice for myself and my health...thank you all for your responses and ideas, as well as your insights....you are all appreciated:)

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm concerned that you say you're too triggered to get a job right now and your doc agrees-----but in 2 weeks you're going to push yourself to get a job whether you're ready or not. Unfortunately healing doesn't happen this quickly. I fear that you're pushing yourself too fast. Meds don't speed up healing per se. They can aid in symptom reduction so that you can work on healing, but meds themselves don't really heal us.

 

[Adrian2016]

I'm concerned that you say you're too triggered to get a job right now and your doc agrees-----bu...

I agree I am also a little worried about it, however, at this point, it is basically going to be economically vital

 

[The Albatross]

Adrian, I did what Gray Owl did for a considerable amount of time as I normalized and reintegrated and worked. I had two jobs, one that filled the needs of doing something I found value in that was worthwhile... the other was financial necessity.

Necessity is the mother of invention... one necessary job, and perhaps a volunteer commitment of some sort or a part time job in an area that you are interested in personally? Like I chose geriatric care (cuz I had experience and was trained in the vocation) for my "J-O-B" job... but then did part time at the Y's where I taught swim lessons, water aerobics, life guard classes, CPR/AED, first aid and stuff. I started at the Y as a volunteer but found out that health/wellness/safety to me was really a VACI (vital absorbing creative interest, link: http://www.cbtrecovery.org/vaci.htm ), but it didn't take long to start paying a bit of income. Basically I tolerated the "job" because of financial necessity... but my other "job" though it paid little was rewarding. (???)

I also did some myth busting and am a big fan of Joel's (Mission Impossible HQ's) take on learning how to be willing to be uncomfortable for a time in order to actualize longer term goals. I got a Ted Talk he did and in the comments, he actually gets in the shower demonstrating his "cold water therapy" which is a 30 day goal/challenge to take a 5 minute cold shower. It made me laugh and it didn't take me very long to come to the same conclusion he did... that basically, preferences can actually block progress and we need (even "normal" people cuz he's got no mental health diagnosis but wanted to start his own business) to be willing to be uncomfortable at times in life in order to attain our goals.

Added in edit: found the link Link Removed

 

[The Albatross]

I think too... I'd zoom in on this "I am just easily set off or overwhelmed and once I'm in that mindstate I fold and crack..end up quitting". If you're still in therapy, ask about tools and ways to manage this... define "easily set off" and "overwhelmed". Is it low frustration tolerance? Is it anger or emotional dysregulation? As I was coming out of the home and endeavoring to break out of agoraphobic tendencies and resume work for financial reasons... I did a whole butt load of self study and goal/challenge activities to deal with the things that were self sabotaging.

 

[Powder]

I'm working on my workaholism. It's not the worst thing to be addicted to. At least money comes in rather than going out. But it still makes me less of a human "being" and more of a human "doing." Anything but FEELINGs!

I agree with Albatross that sometimes you need the distraction and motivation of a job to get through to the next level of healing.

Also, I totally agree about the phase of being triggered or bullied or mistreated at work and losing my head entirely.

When I was young, I also just walked away and didn't answer their calls. Didn't even quit. Just wasn't taking any more shit from anyone.

Later, I learned that we all have to eat a shit sandwich some days. Some days the bar eats you. But if you have a long term goal you're working, it's no big deal. If not, if you just surviving, well, then, yeah. You feel like "F" them.

So, I do think get a job when you have the coping and the goal you are working set up to handle the inevitable crap days that life will occasionally hand us all just to make it fair and "spread it out."

If you have someone you can talk to about those bad days who can support and be there for you, say "I hear you" and then help get you back into whatever you enjoy and truly care about, then you will feel like those bad days don't really count for much.