Job Interview At 3pm Today!

[Anrish]

It really sounds awful what happened to you. And I think it's best to take care of yourself. So you can smile with your husband again.

You look really happy on the picture with all your pictures. And they look gorgeous. :wideeyed: My best friend was with me when I took a look at them and she asked me if the owl picture is still free to have? She fell in love at once. ;)

Take your time to repair yourself and build some strength again. The most important thing is not to push yourself. You really tried and gave it your best but you're not responsible for shitty surroundings and circumstances made up by others.

Enjoy your chocolate and wine. :hug:

 

[KP the nut]

(((@CraftyCath))). No words tonight. I will phone you tomorrow. I am so sorry though.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Wow, I am so sad for you that this job turned out the way it did. You can hold your head high and be proud of yourself for giving it a good shot.

I am so happy you can refocus on your art and medieval fairs. Love the pictures! :hug:

 

[CraftyCath]

Thanks so much PH and all x

I have worked hard to get to this point in my healing and absolutely refuse to compromise myself. They want people to be whipping boys and by saying that I must 'pretend' to work is saying that they want me to be a sycophant! I absolutely refuse which makes me the bigger, better person. Had I stayed I would have caused a scene!

What surprises me is that the manager, who is male and a nice person, will not defend his staff against his boss which is his duty. Other staff are getting punished - in fact no one has escaped the fire - which means he is a bully and is ruling with fear. As far as I'm concerned he can stick his job where the sun don't shine!

As you will all know with PTSD half of you (that post trauma healed part) wants to stand up and fight and the other half (that triggered 'I'm reliving my trauma' part) wants to hide, cry, shake, scream and all the rest. So very difficult to separate all the emotions I'm feeling right now. I'm so sleepy but I'm having nightmares about being chased around a shop. I'm shaking all the time and the hypervigilance is back.

I did this because we are desperate for money but my H has said he would rather have me happy, selling one piece of my art than putting myself under the thumb of someone who is a spoilt child who has never learnt respect! All that matters to him is that he gets his way and makes money and the rest of the staff are corporate clones.

My worry is that all those staff are creative, right brained people. Some have retail experience but most were taken on because of their creativity. One lady has severe depression, one has heart failure, one has a toddler, one travels miles from the city and was supposed to be part time but has worked 9 days without a day off. Two are young lads who have both been shouted at. They are all really nice people. I worry that these people will suffer at his hands - it is such a shame.

I value my freedom too much to lose it to an idiot!

 

[Sazza]

Cath I am so sorry to hear about all this. You came so far to get to that stage to have some bully pull you back. I don't really have much to say at moment but please know you are in my thoughts, sending healing hugs xx

 

[KP the nut]

@CraftyCath. I will reiterate what I said on the phone yesterday. I am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.

You saw the job and went for the opportunity. It was not a healthy environment and you put yourself first and have removed yourself. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Now spend a few weeks nesting and self caring for yourself and your family.

 

[CraftyCath]

@Sazza Thanks hun, your words mean a great deal to me.

@KP the nut Your phone call helped me to put things into perspective. I spotted the unhealthy environment and thought it would improve - it didn't. I am still struggling with the disappointment because I was so looking forward to what the manager originally promised - a laid back atmosphere with a close and caring team of creative people. Also I feel guilty because I am now not bringing money home -again!

But, even though doubts keep springing up, I know I have done the right thing - better for me, my H and my boys. My sister has typed up a letter of resignation for me which I will post tomorrow, My head isn't in the right place to do it.

Deeply, deeply sad but I know that will pass.

Need sleep now. xx

 

[KP the nut]

I am now not bringing money home

better for me, my H and my boys

I know for sure that H and your boys would rather have a happier Cath than money.

Take time to recover and then explore ways to make some money using your crafting and demonstrating skills as your own boss.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

@CraftyCath :hug: thinking of you!

 

[CraftyCath]

@KP the nut You are absolutely right :tup: :hug:

@Pottershand Thank you PH, much apreciated :hug:

H took me and my eldest to a local Forest today. The sun was shining and although a little cold it felt good to be out in the fresh air. My son and I foraged for sweet chestnuts which we will roast either tonight or tomorrow - so glad we have found somewhere that we can get a stash form as they are so expensive in the shops. Feeling better than I but I've got a way to go yet until I feel I am back where I was before this ordeal. These controlling types make me want to punch them! :blackeye: Not that I would mind you. :banghead:

I suffered severe trauma from control freaks and bullies and I will not put myself in that position again.:p I know I will have to deal with the fall out from friends and family who won't understand why I left or why I didn't stay longer. But then they don't have flash backs or all the other :poop: that is PTSD and trying to explain is just not worth it. I try to tell myself that they can think what they like but it isn't easy.

I still feel emotional, very young and angry but I have at least stopped crying and shaking. Need sleep though. :sleep:

 

[rainy_daze]

Well done for sticking up for yourself @CraftyCath :hug:. It's inspiring to see/read assertiveness in action. You survived and left a toxic place, that is something to be very proud of. The interview and getting the job too. It's sad it wasn't the place they made it out to be.

Enjoy the sleep, rest and time with your family. I hope your recovery from this goes as fast as possible. :hug:. The chestnuts sound yum :hungry:.

 

[Britt.f7]

Try not to worry about what people think. It is your journey, not theirs. You did what is healthy for you. That is what matters.

Enjoy the chestnuts!