I think that PTSD has been my bedroom buddy for all of my life. It just took a similar event to cause the adult onset. It took quite a bit of digging for me to understand that. Even when I was told (as an adult) about my situation, which occurred as a toddler, I couldn't see it as bad. I think the reason was because at the time I had to wall off the emotion of it or I would have been dog meat all of my life. Once I learned how to wall bad stuff off.... it became my coping mechanism. So it wasn't difficult to realize that I had to relearn how to identify, process, experience the bad things in life in a feeling way.