Relationship Just An Introduction

[tally-ho]

@scout86 Thank you. It isn't so much that I want to know what his trauma is...but just the thought process that leads to that isolating or withdrawing, why they find that easier than to be around/talk to the people they care about, which you definitely helped explain. Any bits of insight I can get are always helpful, so thank you :)

@Sighs Thank you for the advice. I've definitely determined that it looks like a relationship on a romantic level is not really in the cards at this point in time, but I still consider him my friend and care about him....so it's hard not to worry. I know there's not much else I can do, but talking about it on here helps a bit at least :) The encouragement is appreciated.

 

[scout86]

I realized this morning that I kind of skipped over "why can he talk to other people but not me?"

Again, this is just me. I generally like people but don't get real invested in very many. "Other people" can be a great distraction. They keep you busy and give you a chance not to think, or not to think about stuff you'd rather not think about. People who are important, on the other hand, require effort. (I'm not saying this is "right", just that this is the way it seems.) There are so many things that can go wrong, you have so much to lose..... It's WAY easier, sometimes, not to have to work that hard.

They say this is a disorder of the amygdala, which is a primitive, survival orientated part of the brain. Maybe this is why it feels so "unsafe" to admit there's a problem. If you're a gazelle with a wounded leg, you're somebodies lunch. If you can hide the injury, you live longer. It really FEELS like you're risking your life by sharing this stuff. Maybe that's why. That part of your brain sees that as a sign of weakness and it's trying, as best it can, to protect you from it and keep you alive a little longer. It's easier to put something over on someone who DOESN'T know you or care about you, so it's safer to be with them.