Hello all. My name is Rob. I'm a OIF 03 vet. Came home and suppressed everything in my own way. One thing led to another and I'm now disabled 100%. I've been going to group therapy at the VA and it seems to help. But my symptoms are getting worse. I have nothing but time on my hands and I'm trying to find things to do but I loose interest fast with nearly everything. Most if the time I just wanna be alone. I have a wife who loves me and mostly understands my problems, but needless to say, I feel alone. I'm a devout Christian. I have very bad memory loss now and it's affecting my relationships with friends. They think I blow then off, but in truth, I just forget. I just don't know what else to do.....
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Just Joined In. Devil Doc. Severe Ptsd.
- Post starter FMF*DOC
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reddevil1111
Diamond Member
Most of us have the same issues with memory and loss of interest. I know of one guy who's whole home is a series of unfinished projects. Good intentions but bad follow up. I know myself I have issues with even reading a book lately and I am a bit of a book worm.
Keep trying and your real friends will understand I think. Anyway, welcome to the fold and semper fi squid.:)
Keep trying and your real friends will understand I think. Anyway, welcome to the fold and semper fi squid.:)
Welcome aboard!
My memory loss is pretty bad too. I have trouble speaking often as I forget common words mid sentence. Strange but true. I lived by putting post-it notes everywhere for a few years (As in "Laundry in washer and candle burning on table" posted on front door and "Must take pills @1600, 2230, and 0515" and infamously "SludgeSon's birthday is DDMONYR, Wife hates whole milk, StepDaughter is in X grade, etc), and forced myself to do Sudoku (which I hate) and crossword puzzles (which I hate even more...) after reading a rather extensive body of data about how military life and trauma actually changes brain morphology. Also lots and lots of exercise.
Turns out, after more and more reading on the subject, the best way to deal with memory issues for us PTSDers is a bit of honesty when dealing with people ( as in "Sorry man, I jus' don't remember. Sorry 'bout that.") and forcing neurogenesis to compensate for the areas of the brain that are not working right.
I wish I could say it is a quick process, but it takes years. Aerobic exercise while reading, listening to classical or jazz, or even singing forces new growth in the hippocampus and cerebellum. Crazy sounding, I know, but it does help. Lots of aerobic exercise and stuff that makes your brain focus are key. I like to mountain bike while listen to Wagner, or hike in the woods to whatever is on Public Radio. Force the brain to work and give it some extra O2 and function is replaced, repaired, and unblocked. A little help in getting your self right, and some effort on your part and memory issues can be improved dramatically.
Sounds like your family and church have got your back, and that is very important. Some are not so lucky to already have such back-up in place.
Hang in there, pull up a chair here, and we can all get through this. Is no cure, but by helping each other we can learn to control this beast.
My memory loss is pretty bad too. I have trouble speaking often as I forget common words mid sentence. Strange but true. I lived by putting post-it notes everywhere for a few years (As in "Laundry in washer and candle burning on table" posted on front door and "Must take pills @1600, 2230, and 0515" and infamously "SludgeSon's birthday is DDMONYR, Wife hates whole milk, StepDaughter is in X grade, etc), and forced myself to do Sudoku (which I hate) and crossword puzzles (which I hate even more...) after reading a rather extensive body of data about how military life and trauma actually changes brain morphology. Also lots and lots of exercise.
Turns out, after more and more reading on the subject, the best way to deal with memory issues for us PTSDers is a bit of honesty when dealing with people ( as in "Sorry man, I jus' don't remember. Sorry 'bout that.") and forcing neurogenesis to compensate for the areas of the brain that are not working right.
I wish I could say it is a quick process, but it takes years. Aerobic exercise while reading, listening to classical or jazz, or even singing forces new growth in the hippocampus and cerebellum. Crazy sounding, I know, but it does help. Lots of aerobic exercise and stuff that makes your brain focus are key. I like to mountain bike while listen to Wagner, or hike in the woods to whatever is on Public Radio. Force the brain to work and give it some extra O2 and function is replaced, repaired, and unblocked. A little help in getting your self right, and some effort on your part and memory issues can be improved dramatically.
Sounds like your family and church have got your back, and that is very important. Some are not so lucky to already have such back-up in place.
Hang in there, pull up a chair here, and we can all get through this. Is no cure, but by helping each other we can learn to control this beast.
- Post starter
- #6
Guys it's already a great feeling getting feedback so quick. To all my jarhead leathernecks, Semper Fi. And Sludge, thanks for that info. I really can't do anything physical because I have a disk fusion and more beck problems. But I'm def excited and glad I found this forum. I'm located in SC if anyone is close. Once again, thank you all for welcoming me into the fold. Please keep in touch, I need help.
Welcome Rob, as Red and Sludge said, we all suffer similar symptoms, but it does become manageable with the right treatment. I used to explain it to FNG's like this.
Learning to manage PTSD is like learning to surf.
When you first start your barely able to stay on the board let alone stand up, some people can though but that is not usually for long. You get all the right gear though, a good board, the right wax, a good quality wetsuit etc, but you look like a complete idiot getting dumped all the time, you get scraped along the coral and get stomach fulls of water.
There seems like too much to do and too much to remember. Don't take that wave because of the way it's forming, make sure your feet are place right, don't over balance, etc, etc.
In time you manage to stand up every second wave and you start to enjoy it. After heaps of practice and numerous waves you are starting to be like a real pro.
But as every surfer knows, it does not matter how good you are, you can always be dumped.
So with PTSD, you can do all the courses, read all the books, take all the right medications, but at the start nothing seems to work. With time though and practicing what you are taught, you can actually manage to go out in public and go to BBQ's with your mates. You will actually laugh again and fine enjoyment in things. You will even be able to tackle shopping centers.
But no matter what, there will always be days, and sometimes weeks where you will feel like you have been dumped and feel like your back at the start again.
It get's better mate, it's just a matter of time and patience.
To put it in the military perspective, if you wanted to take a village full of insurgents who had heavy firepower, there would be heaps of recon, heaps of practicing drills, etc. Some missions will go without a hitch, damn, you might even manage to go a whole month without a single WIA, but there will always be that mission where something goes pear shaped.
I will stop waffling now.
Jimmy
Learning to manage PTSD is like learning to surf.
When you first start your barely able to stay on the board let alone stand up, some people can though but that is not usually for long. You get all the right gear though, a good board, the right wax, a good quality wetsuit etc, but you look like a complete idiot getting dumped all the time, you get scraped along the coral and get stomach fulls of water.
There seems like too much to do and too much to remember. Don't take that wave because of the way it's forming, make sure your feet are place right, don't over balance, etc, etc.
In time you manage to stand up every second wave and you start to enjoy it. After heaps of practice and numerous waves you are starting to be like a real pro.
But as every surfer knows, it does not matter how good you are, you can always be dumped.
So with PTSD, you can do all the courses, read all the books, take all the right medications, but at the start nothing seems to work. With time though and practicing what you are taught, you can actually manage to go out in public and go to BBQ's with your mates. You will actually laugh again and fine enjoyment in things. You will even be able to tackle shopping centers.
But no matter what, there will always be days, and sometimes weeks where you will feel like you have been dumped and feel like your back at the start again.
It get's better mate, it's just a matter of time and patience.
To put it in the military perspective, if you wanted to take a village full of insurgents who had heavy firepower, there would be heaps of recon, heaps of practicing drills, etc. Some missions will go without a hitch, damn, you might even manage to go a whole month without a single WIA, but there will always be that mission where something goes pear shaped.
I will stop waffling now.
Jimmy
Ouch! My Mom had to have a disk fusion. But that was back in the Frankenstein days of surgery. Welcome Doc! Zoomie of the Nam era here. More chatter the better. Get all that crap out of your system.
Advice...wives can be your best ally in working through this but you have to include her in the thick of it. The VA used to have classes for wives of PTSD and I've heard good things about them. If not, check for a Vet Center in your area they might as well.
As for me, I'm a grumpy old fart and when I get mad, I cuss. So, I apologize up front and get it out there.
Sarg
Advice...wives can be your best ally in working through this but you have to include her in the thick of it. The VA used to have classes for wives of PTSD and I've heard good things about them. If not, check for a Vet Center in your area they might as well.
As for me, I'm a grumpy old fart and when I get mad, I cuss. So, I apologize up front and get it out there.
Sarg
Lee C
Platinum Member
Welcome mate
Zipperhead
Diamond Member
Memory issues for me seem to be on again off again. Some days my memory seems fine, others not so much. I depend on my wife allot to keep me on schedule. Welcome out.
Welcome Doc...glad you found the group. I am! Just joined recently myself. Give your wife a voice if you haven't already. Many of my friends significant otehrs are just standing by not sure what to say or do...while it all goes south. I just took my wife in to meet the docs, see the med center and she sat there and cried for 15 mins and now feels better just to have been included.
Stay safe, stay strong...
ColA
Stay safe, stay strong...
ColA
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