Just Joking

[Freddyt]

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

 

[Freddyt]

My therapist refused to help me with my fear of backing up my car.

She said she would under no circumstances perform reverse psychology.

I told my therapist I can’t get the Grease soundtrack out of my head.

He said, “Tell me more”

 

[Dergrosse]

He said, “Tell me more”

"Tell me more, can you back up your car?"

 

[Freddyt]

"Tell me more, can you back up your car?"

(Two separate jokes there)

I told my therapist I can’t get the Grease soundtrack out of my head.

He said, “Tell me more”

 

[Tinyflame]

A guy went to his dr, and said, "I can't get Tom Jones' songs out of my head! Is there something wrong with me?" His dr says, "It's not unusual.."


2 guys are putting up letters on an Office door. The one shouts to the other, "NO-NO-NO! It's ONE word!" when he sees:

Dr. Brown

Psycho
the
rapist

 

[Dynamic]

Did you take a bath today?
Why, is one missing?

From my daughter

 

[Freddyt]

What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backward!

How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!

What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar? He got 12 months.

 

[LuckiLee]

What would bears be without bees?

 

[LuckiLee]

Ears

 

[Freddyt]

If a pig loses its voice…does it become disgruntled?

If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

 

[Dynamic]

Idk if this has been shared yet

I'm no longer panicking at the disco, I am now dissociating at the grocery store.

 

[Rose White]

A man walks into a psychologist’s office wearing Saran Wrap for clothes. The therapist takes one look at him and says, “I can clearly see youre nuts!”