Just Not Coping

[Blackjack]

Will I ever feel happy again?? :cry::cry:

My dad is in a care home. He is 87 and has dementia caused by a mini stroke 3 years ago. He has had a few bad days this week, very sleepy and not as with it as usual. I am just so very scared of losing him and don't know how I woukd begin to cope when the time comes. The doctor at the home checked him out and sayes he is ok but I am so so scared. Keep expecting the phone to ring saying he is bad, or worse.

I am struggling to control the panic and really not doing a good job of it to be honest. I know I am going to get in a real state again, don't want to but I can feel it coming. So scared, I hate this. Don't know what to do.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

:hug:

 

[Whyteferret]

Hi Whyteferret, thanks so much for caring. I am not crying so much today thank goodness, just incredi...

It may be the benzos and the sleep lack that's numbing you out. And the pain in the arm.
Is the arm feeling better? Hope so.

It's a journey. Fall backs happen but it doesn't mean it's over. It can be a chance to heal more actually.

I won't say "it gets better." The road isn't easy. But, try to keep hope.

 

[Whyteferret]

Heard from my counsellor this morning and can't give me an appointment until next Wednesday! Really d...

Hey, that's part of what we all do for each other.
If you really need to talk, try connecting to the National Hotline. It's not just for suicide. I call sometimes because my head gets in a bad place.

 

[Blackjack]

I really don't know what to do with myself. I am not coping at all, constantly crying, totally over emotional, I am exhausted because I do not sleep, I sit staring into space, feeling desperate. My family don't know about my ptsd and depression, although I am hoping to be able to pin my husband down to tell him soon. I tried last night but he fell asleep. My counsellor is away on holiday until 29 June and did not leave me with any kind of emergency plan for while he was gone, I have no meds as my doctor doesn't really agree with them, I have no support other than the good people on here, I am trying to live a normal life and tell people I am great when I am far from that because I have no idea how to go about telling people the truth as they probably wouldn't believe me or would not want to know. I cannot keep moaning at people here on chat as they are going to get fed up with me and I just don't know what to do anymore I really don't. I am falling apart and broken totally, I really am. I cannot cope any more, I need help but don't even know how to get it. All I know is that I need it and need it badly but I have nobody to say "please help me" to. I want someone to help me, to care. I don't know what to do any more.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Try to take it a little bit at a time and remember to breathe. :hug:

 

[EveHarrington]

Keep posting here on the forum. I think you'll get a bit more help that way.

Sometimes starting a new thread helps. I know I don't necessarily revisit older threads.

 

[Changing4Best]

I have not read the replies here, but I know from past experience that taking up one thing at a time is very important. Living minute by minute is sometimes necessary. Try to handle your own issues first. Being supportive to a friend in need when you have so many needs of your own may be too much for you at this time, even though you feel so moved to do so. It is normal to want to help, but if this friend is not giving you any support in your distress as well, I would suggest backing off for the time being on helping others.

As to doing things at work one handed, I am sure they are hopefully giving you some extra time to get things done and understanding that you just may not be able to do some things at all!

 

[Suzetig]

My family don't know about my ptsd and depression, although I am hoping to be able to pin my husband down to tell him soon.

What do your family think is going on with you? Have they noticed how distressed you are?

I'm also wondering what your doctors treatment plan is for PTSD, I know some doctors are reluctant to give meds for mental health issues but if it's compromising your care and leaving you in high levels of distress and pain, it stops being about what they "believe in" and becomes about meeting the needs of their patient. If your GP won't prescribe something can you see a different doctor in he practice with a different attitude. I honestly don't think meds are always a good thing but sometimes they are really needed to help you access the bits you need to do in therapy.

Has your T been working on self soothing and coping strategies? When I find myself in that kind of distress, I tend to treat myself as I would a sick child, so lots of warm milky drinks, cosy blankets, rest and comfort. Can you think about doing things that help make you feel better, for me that would be spending time in the garden, colouring books, coffee with a friend.

Try to just accept that you're going to be slowed down for a while, you can't do everything at your normal speed to your normal standard when you're injured, ask for the family to help with stuff and dress it up as being because of your physical injury ("I'm in a lot of pain today, could you Hoover/make the bed/do dinner").

And yes, do keep posting here, and think about using crisis lines just to offload. I also find keeping a paper journal really helpful in working through what I'm thinking and feeling. I hope you feel better soon.