Nevergivup
New Here
Hi
I have never tried this before. Aside from confiding in some doctors and giving some details to family I have never told my full story. It would take some time.
I have been married for 4 years to a lovely little lady who I love dearly. During our courtship I saw glimpses of what was to come but it was not until we were married and together for some months that her condition started to fully show. I now realise that this is due to her feeling in a safe environment with someone who will accept her behavior. Bit by bit she tells me of her upbringing in a very isolated corner of SE Asia where Maoist resistance has waged a guerrilla campaign for decades. I have been there during a contract with Red Cross. This is how I met her.
She grew up witnessing the horror of warfare: the result of helicopter gunship attacks on villages, friends having legs blown off by mines, insurgents and bodies in their little house for days, physical interrogation of prisoners in front of her community and worse - the extreme cruel violence of her father who I believe suffered from the same condition as she now has. He strung my wife's eldest sister up by the neck on her tiptoes under a doorway for 6 hours because she was seen talking to a boy. When I met my wife she had a swollen forearm caused by her father who struck her with a piece of wood. It had never been treated. Given that it was 6 months after the event I have little doubt that it had been fractured. She ran away from home after that incident. She was 20.
I am one that believes that PTSD is over-diagnosed. I want to share this story as I believe that it describes a genuine case and may help others. There is reference made to "flight and fight". My wife is all fight. She is 2 people. The real person is sweet, calm, disciplined and hardworking. Then from nowhere something trips. She instantly becomes a dangerous violent devil, screaming obscenities and threatening to kill me and our 2 children aged 2 years and 3 weeks. I have seen her wrap a power cord twice around the neck of our eldest child and drag her 1 m across the floor. I have had her attack me with a carving knife on 2 occasions when she jabbed me in the ribs but not so hard as to penetrate my clothing. I have learnt to remain very passive. This is the only way out as I know that these events will pass and I need to limit the collateral damage. She will also break things like a whole pile of plates on the floor. When in this state she is beyond communication. Here eyes go crazy. On occasions she has collapsed and become unconscious for 40 minutes taking one breath every 30 seconds.
There is a pattern. It starts with her feeling hot. If in the car she will turn the AC on full cold even in winter. The violent phase can last from 20 m to 1 hour and occurs on average 4 times/week. When the event starts to pass she gets very cold and she usually goes into a weeping phase. Then I know it is nearly over. Then the shame and guilt kicks in. She commonly will ask "what happened?" She has little memory of the details.
We have sought professional help. Medication is helping but is not a cure. The best medicine for my wife is plenty of sleep and lots of love from us. I can handle this but fear for the children i.e. there mental well-being.
Admittedly PTSD can manifest in different ways. But to me it is more than just depression and anxiety. It is a deep wound that can only heal very slowly if ever. I am very skeptical of councilors who claim that they can cure it. Some maybe, but all? never. Many could do more harm than good.
I have never tried this before. Aside from confiding in some doctors and giving some details to family I have never told my full story. It would take some time.
I have been married for 4 years to a lovely little lady who I love dearly. During our courtship I saw glimpses of what was to come but it was not until we were married and together for some months that her condition started to fully show. I now realise that this is due to her feeling in a safe environment with someone who will accept her behavior. Bit by bit she tells me of her upbringing in a very isolated corner of SE Asia where Maoist resistance has waged a guerrilla campaign for decades. I have been there during a contract with Red Cross. This is how I met her.
She grew up witnessing the horror of warfare: the result of helicopter gunship attacks on villages, friends having legs blown off by mines, insurgents and bodies in their little house for days, physical interrogation of prisoners in front of her community and worse - the extreme cruel violence of her father who I believe suffered from the same condition as she now has. He strung my wife's eldest sister up by the neck on her tiptoes under a doorway for 6 hours because she was seen talking to a boy. When I met my wife she had a swollen forearm caused by her father who struck her with a piece of wood. It had never been treated. Given that it was 6 months after the event I have little doubt that it had been fractured. She ran away from home after that incident. She was 20.
I am one that believes that PTSD is over-diagnosed. I want to share this story as I believe that it describes a genuine case and may help others. There is reference made to "flight and fight". My wife is all fight. She is 2 people. The real person is sweet, calm, disciplined and hardworking. Then from nowhere something trips. She instantly becomes a dangerous violent devil, screaming obscenities and threatening to kill me and our 2 children aged 2 years and 3 weeks. I have seen her wrap a power cord twice around the neck of our eldest child and drag her 1 m across the floor. I have had her attack me with a carving knife on 2 occasions when she jabbed me in the ribs but not so hard as to penetrate my clothing. I have learnt to remain very passive. This is the only way out as I know that these events will pass and I need to limit the collateral damage. She will also break things like a whole pile of plates on the floor. When in this state she is beyond communication. Here eyes go crazy. On occasions she has collapsed and become unconscious for 40 minutes taking one breath every 30 seconds.
There is a pattern. It starts with her feeling hot. If in the car she will turn the AC on full cold even in winter. The violent phase can last from 20 m to 1 hour and occurs on average 4 times/week. When the event starts to pass she gets very cold and she usually goes into a weeping phase. Then I know it is nearly over. Then the shame and guilt kicks in. She commonly will ask "what happened?" She has little memory of the details.
We have sought professional help. Medication is helping but is not a cure. The best medicine for my wife is plenty of sleep and lots of love from us. I can handle this but fear for the children i.e. there mental well-being.
Admittedly PTSD can manifest in different ways. But to me it is more than just depression and anxiety. It is a deep wound that can only heal very slowly if ever. I am very skeptical of councilors who claim that they can cure it. Some maybe, but all? never. Many could do more harm than good.
