Relationship Kind Of At An Empass Here..

[Serasen333]

Wow, things can change so fast. For almost 2 weeks we have fought every night. I thought tonight would be without incident. I was wrong.

We got into a fight about the dvd player. Jesus.

Just 3 days ago he threatened to beat the shit out of me for "provoking" him. I am still trying to get over the fear of that night. Tonight he said I was the stupidest person he had ever met.

I told him that what he was saying was mean and untrue. I said he had been in a downward spiral for almost 2 weeks and that I wasn't his enemy. He threatened to leave and to file for divorce. Said he would give me until Monday when I get paid to decide if I needed a ride to the bus station or airport. :/

He said he would be better off without me. He is projecting so much. I can't get through to him. He will be so loving and then say such mean things and insist it is all my fault.

I am so wore down. I told him I did not want a divorce. That I wasn't going anywhere. I amgetting too tired to run anymore. Because of his actions and words almost everyone we know keeps their distance from me.

I have left and come back so many times that my family is no longer willing to help. My credit is wrecked and our rental history has ruined any chance of me getting into income-based housing although I am on disability.

All this is too much to deal with. I wish I had never met him. :(

 

[digger]

Just 3 days ago he threatened to beat the shit out of me for "provoking" him. I am still trying to get over the fear of that night. Tonight he said I was the stupidest person he had ever met.

This is unacceptable behaviour. End of. No excuses. Threatening to beat the shit out of someone is not okay.

That I wasn't going anywhere. I amgetting too tired to run anymore. Because of his actions and words almost everyone we know keeps their distance from me.

This worries me. I think you should be the one giving ultimatums at this point, not him. Telling him that unless he gets some help for his anger, you will be going somewhere. If you continually say to him that you will stay no matter what, then what incentive is there for him to change? You say you know he loves you, then he will be prepared to put the work in to keep you.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Just out of curiousity, what would be enough for you to leave the relationship? At what point would you stand up for your self and say something like "You know what, I've had enough, don't even bother driving me to the airport, just work on looking after yourself and getting better, like I am by leaving"?

I mean if you deem what is and has happened so far as being ok, where is the line for him to cross into not ok? Because by my standards, threatened or actual violence is never ok and using manipulation tactics to pass the buck on to you so you feel guilty and bad for his appalling and nearly (if not) criminal behaviour.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Just 3 days ago he threatened to beat the shit out of me for "provoking" him.

I said he had been in a downward spiral for almost 2 weeks and that I wasn't his enemy. He threatened to leave and to file for divorce.

I told him I did not want a divorce. That I wasn't going anywhere.

I have left and come back so many times

All this is too much to deal with.

I'm reading and in one breath he's threatened you - in the next you're refusing to leave him even though he says he wants you to - then you say you've had enough. It is so contradictory, that it seems messed up on both your parts, and equally toxic for him as it is for you.

It sounds like he's trying to drive you away from him, but you're refusing to go. I'm not condoning his behavior, it's simply that here, I am talking to you, so I am talking about what you can do to change, and my advice would be to leave him alone and give him some space (before you push him over the edge)

You are adults, and perhaps both of you need to have that time alone to sort your heads out, because you are not helping one another.