Kind Of... Floored!

[jesse]

The people that I know with bpd are really charismatic and super fun for awhile. I feel close to them very quickly and then they can become manipulative. All of them have a history of sexual abuse and like I said above just the slightest perceived wrong to them and you are out of their life. They usually come around after many months but will repeat that pattern and are kind of abusive people although unintentionally it is painful. I guess when I read your post her reasoning is so irrational for not wanting to be friends anymore that is what flagged bpd. There are good websites out there too about it. I hope this helps.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@jesse,
Thanks for your reply. It really helps. It's eerie how you describe being drawn to them because they're super fun at first. I met her over 20 years ago but looking back, this was EXACTLY how she presented herself to me. I was drawn to the super fun person, and she was glad to have someone who wanted to be around her all the time. At one point she became obsessed with me. It was weird to say the least.

 

[maryiscontrary]

I had to give up a lot of friendships in the last few years, based on the following criteria.
1. Issues with lying
2. issues with addiction or impulse control
3. Failures with processing empathy
4. Uncontrolled anger, especially from men

Needless to say, most of my relationships went to the dumpster. But like Phoenix rising, the relationships that remain are very, very good.

 

[Philippa]

Sounds like your 'friend' is behaving in the same way those kinds of christians who condemn her behave...pot calling the kettle black.

It is a sad truth that many activists aren't really angry about the cause they are fighting for...they are mainly channelling their anger from past abuses into the cause they are using as a positive conduit for their anger. It sounds like this is the case with your ex friend.

 

[WillyKat]

Philippa said what I was trying to say.

I was involved in politics for a couple of years. I put a lot of my anger into it...for a good cause mind you.

But I learned something from the experience. This was at a large university and we were engaged in a nationwide movement. On our campus, there were a number of groups involved, with diverse interests. Some were very good at setting their particular interests aside for the benefit of the cause; others not so much. What I learned was that there were a particular bunch of people that were so angry that the particular cause was nothing other than an excuse to vent their rage. I was once in a discussion where a couple of them wanted to start a bunch of tires on fire on the campus as a form of symbolic protest. Yes, that would have been symbolic alright, symbolic of much worse to come and very much the wrong message. Thankfully, it never happened.

I began to feel that the expression of rage is so consuming that they could attach themselves to just about any social or political movement, as long is it offered an opportunity to throw a rock or burn something. Put them in a different place and time and they could be wearing swastikas. Change it again and they could be communist revolutionaries. They didn't really believe in anything, just wanted to express the rage.

 

[Philippa]

Protests are nothing more than a chance to vent and express anger and rage. So many people think they do a lot of good, and sometimes they do cause change to occur...but often it can take up to 20 years for any real progress to be set in motion. Most of the time it is just a catharsis for people to vent their powerlessness, which is what anger really covers up. Nothing wrong with that of course, but people tend to think that protests are so important for political change to happen...when most of the time the people in charge aren't paying any attention, and continue to carry on doing whatever they want anyway.