NH,
I feel badly, as if I have not been around enough lately for you. However, I do honestly hope that you know that I have been following your posts and feeling for you (and in many instances with you).
I trust that you knew that my offer to reach me through PC was legit and sincere.
I actually have noticed quite a difference in your remarks towards this procedure versus the last one. Whether you can feel it or not, you are much stronger than you were when you approached the previous one.
I know it is not something that you want to go through and I am with you on that one, my friend. But I think that you are resolved in a good way that this is just some f*king annoying thing you must do (though annoying certainly does not describe its complex impact on you) to get to the other side.
I had hoped that you would not need this procedure, but you do and I know you will handle it because you have handled worse. I wish you could see into my tired heart as I feel as if my words here are in a way "flat". Yet my feelings for you are anything but flat, and my wish for you is that this procedure is not as bad as you envision it to be.
In any case, please try to remember that it is one night and that you will not be separated from your babies for as long as you were before. And I am here, as are so many others who truly care.
This is for your heart and your wounds:
Caring Hugs for a Tender Spirit,
Alex