General Lack Of Discipline? Need Someone To Kick Me?

[Friday]

This is honestly the weirdest supporter thread I've ever seen. Most come here in a panic about their partner disappearing or extreme symptoms. I don't know what to make about panic because of a tea party and how the tea party must go on because of what people will think. Sorry if this sounds harsh but again, ADD?

PTSD Relationships aren't all crisis, all the time. But there are some quirky things about them. Like supporters minding sufferers stress cups // knowing they CANT ask what their friends can ask of their spouses, without their sufferers stress cups exploding and everything getting symptomatic as f*ck ...BUT... It's a very easy trap to fall in of ONLY minding their sufferers stress cups, and not their own. Add in parenting? So you're constantly minding your kids needs/wants/stress, along with your spouse's stress? Pfft. Sooooooo easy for one's own needs & wants to become a distant 80th place on the List-Of-Things-To-Do :banghead: Which isn't healthy. And is exhausting. And not sustainable long term. And misery making.

And. Totally. Fixable.

But it's also totally PTSD-Related... Because normal relationships? Don't have the spouses stress-cup taking a central part of the partnership. Just like normal jobs one can turn down travel from time to time, but military families can't, and so have to come up with work-arounds that work within that specific set of guidelines. Can't just tell the military 'no' & can't just turn PTSD 'off'. So it certainly follows that Supporters are going to have normal-life problems, that need to be looked at through a PTSD lens. Shrug.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I notice he likes painting a lot and it is good for him because he sometimes has a bit of a tremble and when painting your hands must be calm. Very therapeutic... and he is painting something so tranquil and peaceful... untypical for him.
If we had more time it would not be a problem and I would just enjoy watching him paint... but unfortunately we don't.

Ok, this is coming from a sufferer artist that has lost her artist mojo. Don't stop the painting. Art is EXTREMELY helpful to a sufferer. But I would limit it. When I was popping out painting right and left I could spend HOURS on it and have no idea as my full focus is on the painting. So give him, say, an hour a day. Talk this over before hand as not to become a fight and advise that you need help with the kids but you are ok with an hour a day but after that he really needs to help. Advise him that you understand it is theraputic (so much so that they designed an entire therapy around it. Art therapy) and that you don't want to take that away but he can't just spend all day on it and not help you with responsiblities. If one is only painting and not taking care of responsiblities they are avoiding and that isn't good.

Just don't try to take it away completely. If I had my artistic mojo back and then someone tried to take it, I'd be like Cujo ripping out your throat.

 

[Never_falter2]

Ok I'm SERIOUSLY thinking that this whole "we do things on a whim" thing that you both find so ch...

I am most sorry if his PTSD not bad enough to meet your standards, ma'am.
No, he never disappeared without telling me a word but I'll ask him to do that in future to cause no offense at this boards.

Yes, he has been diagnosed with PTSD.
Would I be here otherwise? Are you really thinking I came here to ask you how to plan a tea Party? He has been doing a lot better lately.

My husband does have PTSD, but apart from that he is a worthy man and my children can be very proud of him.

 

[Never_falter2]

To be fair, I merged a few threads with duplicate content together, so it may seem a bit odd.

[USE...

He works a lot, he is typically not at home until 1930 or 2000. often he is away on a job for several weeks in a row.
When he comes home, I used to ask him about things that need to be done like chopping woods and stuff like this but I realized he needs to "get used" to being at home first, he needs some food and a shower and does not really want to be bothered with jobs around the house or even talk. Could this be isolation?

One he had a shower and food and sometimes a god nights sleep he helps with the children.

 

[Never_falter2]

Ok, this is coming from a sufferer artist that has lost her artist mojo. Don't stop the pain...

I did not know there was something like art therapy. Can you tell me more?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Can you tell me more?

It's easier to show you.

Dead Link Removed (many sites about art therapy if you google, this is just the most informative one).

"Art therapy helps Veterans and military service members. The evidence is building, and the public is taking notice. The American Art Therapy Association (AATA) dedicates this special report to America's Veterans, and highlights the ways in which art therapy is improving their lives" Dead Link Removed

Art therapy is a mental health profession in which clients, facilitated by the art therapist, use art media, the creative process, and the resulting artwork to explore their feelings, reconcile emotional conflicts, foster selfawareness, manage behavior and addictions, develop social skills, improve reality orientation, reduce anxiety, and increase self-esteem.

A goal in art therapy is to improve or restore a client’s functioning and his or her sense of personal well-being. Art therapy practice requires knowledge of visual art (drawing, painting, sculpture, and other art forms) and the creative process, as well as of human development, psychological, and counseling theories and techniques.

Today, art therapy is widely practiced in a wide variety of settings including hospitals, psychiatric and rehabilitation facilities, wellness centers, forensic institutions, schools, crisis centers, senior communities, private practice, and other clinical and community settings.

During individual and/or group sessions, art therapists elicit their clients’ inherent capacity for art making to enhance their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Research supports the use of art therapy within a professional relationship for the therapeutic benefits gained through artistic self-expression and reflection for individuals who experience illness, trauma, mental health problems, and those seeking personal growth.

Art therapy is an effective treatment for people experiencing developmental, medical, educational, and social or psychological impairment. Individuals who benefit from art therapy include those who have survived trauma resulting from combat, abuse, and natural and manmade disasters; persons with adverse physical health conditions such as cancer, traumatic brain injury, and other health disability; and persons with autism, dementia, depression, and other disorders.

Art therapy helps people resolve conflicts, improve interpersonal skills, manage problematic behaviors, reduce negative stress, and achieve personal insight. Art therapy also provides an opportunity to enjoy the life-affirming pleasures of art making.

Dead Link Removed

Just a small snippet off the fact sheet (broken down a bit more to make it easier readable) to help to explain.

Art is AMZINGLY theraputic and was one of the only things that got me through my trauma. I would never discourage it, however, I would limit it so that it isn't all and everything he is doing and then avoiding responsiblity. Hopefully this helps some to educate you about art therapy and just how theraputic art is.