General Lack of Sleep

[unbroken]

I was reading through some other sections here and read about sleep. My g/f has a very hard time sleeping, and much of it is because of some health issues with her son. I know she feels responsible for his health problems and I am gently trying to remind her that it's not her fault.

One thing that I have noticed is that when she is with me and we watch TV, she usually lays down in my arms and sleeps very still and comfortably. I joke and tell her to come over to my house more often for a nap while I hold her, but I wonder if being in someone's arms actually does help remove some of the restlessness that PTSD sufferers have?

Anyway, not that I'm a magic man or anything, but she does feel very comfortable when she's with me. She always feels bad that she falls asleep so she thinks I will be offended, but when I see her get rest like that it also comforts me to know that she's able to get some sleep.

Is it just because she's always tired or do you think it's helpful? thanks...

 

[spiritofnow]

Reflections....

It is amazing to read so many similar reflections between you and your girl and my last relationship.

I do have trouble staying asleep! For years I have felt like I am running on half a battery. I can get so tired, and even feel tired when I wake up!

When I was with my previous partner I would ALWAYS do the same as you and your girl. He would sit on the sofa and put a cusion on his lap, and I would rest my head on him and stretch out. He would stroke my hair and that would be that! After a while he did resent it! He said it was no fun spending time with me when I was constantly asleep in the evenings (we were having troubles at this time though).

I think you are absolutely right in your observation. To be asleep with the warmth of a speical someoneo around you is such a safe feeling especially if they are still awake. I guess it feels like they are a sleep guardian.

I do miss our cuddles and I miss waking up in the night with his arm around me. I have not got in the habit of sleeping very well since he left.

Carry on unbroken you are being such a great comfort to her, you really are. And the awareness that you have is so key!

Spirit x

 

[Cindy]

It sounds so great to sleep 'safe' and be able to let your guard down and relax securely. It's been so long since I have felt safe and rested. The past two weeks I've been pushing myself to get up and do it all over again, day after day. I've been waking up exhausted and blindly going through my day. I can't wait to get home when it's all over and just do what I want. I'm really in the mood to just hide in my house and putter around and sleep. But work gets in the way. Maybe it's just me trying to keep up the front each day and it is draining me?

Anyway, I think it's a great comfort and supportive to you gf to have the time out for herself to just unwind and catch some rest.

 

[unbroken]

Thanks Spirit & Cindy! When I do suggest that she come over just to take a nap and relax, she says she would like to but she worries that it won't be any fun for me. I jokingly tell her when she falls asleep I usually cop a feel, so it is fun for me! lol

But all seriousness aside, I enjoy being with her and if that helps her to relax - I was watching tv anyway - so it's nice to be holding on to someone for once. Given her past, I'm very flattered that she trusts and feels so comfortable with me, and she felt that way before we actually met...it was the few emails that we exchanged first that foole... er, I mean... that drew her in.

I work hard during the week, so when it comes time to relax I like our time together in any capacity! thanks....

 

[becvan]

Good man! lol

All joking aside, yes I think it's quite common if your comfortable with someone. I know I slept so well when my ex was there. He was the kinda guy that would get up and see what the bump in the middle of the night was. He was also a very light sleeper. I trusted him and felt safe just having him around. It made sleeping so easy as I could let down my guard. Almost like it was his turn!

Maybe you don't think your magic man, but it sounds like your hers in her book! :)

bec

 

[Nicolette]

Even without having PTSD, there is nothing better than falling asleep in the arms of the man you love...............I look forward to going to bed just to be able to feel so warm, safe and loved :smile:

 

[unbroken]

thanks Bec! Yes, I love the feeling of having someone fall asleep in my arms like that. It relaxes me too, knowing that she's that comfortable with me.

I've had girlfriends in the past ask me to talk to them so they could sleep, and the first time I was asked that I thought she found me to be boring. But she told me that I had a very calming voice and it made her feel comfortable, so when others said it I was flattered. Maybe that's why my mother told me I was boring...I made her fall asleep? lol

Now when I talk to my girlfriend at night she gets sleepy and keeps apologizing for yawning and she even starts to doze off. She keeps saying, "I don't know why I'm getting so tired"! I still sometimes wonder if I'm boring, but if it helps her to sleep then it's worth it. She calls me every night before she turns in, I like that she wants to hear my voice before she goes to sleep. :kiss:

 

[unbroken]

Well, Nicolette, I wouldn't know about falling asleep in the arms of a man LOL, but yes, it's very comforting to be with her for me as well. I laugh when she says I'll get tired of it...I love her, and I think that it's a great compliment when she trusts me enough to fall asleep in my arms.

 

[Lucky Laser]

I sleep a lot better in my husband's arms. I feel more at peace and safe; even when I have nightmares he is gentle about waking me from them.

 

[Wishmaster]

Whenever LL and I go to sleep together, she is ALWAYS in my arms. Neither of us move much. I used to toss and turn all night, but since she is there, I stay put. I have noticed that she sleeps a lot better too when she is in my arms, no matter where it might be. If we are in the living room watching something on TV and I'm holding her, she will just drift off to sleep. I will ask her at the end of the ep/movie if she wants to do something else, and the response that I almost always get is "I'm in my happy place right now". It warms my heart. I'm no doctor by any means, but I think the basic human contact with someone you love along with the trust that you will watch over them as they sleep, might be a lot of the reason that person can get the sleep that their body needs, and they are trusting you to be their keeper.

 

[Cindy]

Wishmaster:

Sounds like you should be a hypnotist. Or, a radio broadcaster?

As far as the security of another - since I'm terrified of relationships - the last big step... I have learned to hug a pillow and wrap the blankets tight. It's not great but it's something.

I think the plastic dummies would get sweaty, Stuffed animals would get dust mites, I guess some day I'll have to take the challenge and look at homo sapiens.