Laughing During Dissociation?

[Dootsbec]

as I've become more aware of my dissociating, I realize not only when I dissociate..but the different ways in which I experience it. One thing that confuses me is that I tend to laugh after I have a blank out. I've tried to determine if this is me feeling nervous and the laughing is some kind of defense mechanism, (especially when my therapist "catches" me) or some weird emotional shift. I can go from talking about some horrendous $*** then blanking for a moment and then laughing and shrugging my shoulders.
I know I have done this my whole life and have had people jokingly ask if I was high or smoked weed. I'm curious if anyone else gets this.

 

[Ronin]

Getting this. I think it can be multiple of things, crying expressed differently, defense mechanism, plain different sense of humor, other. You're not alone. (Some of the worse stuff? I just laughed through. Crying would lead to breakdowns if I were able to cry at the time, and starting even when I was able led to not being able to stop. Laughter it was. I still tend to laugh when overwhelmed & reminded of things I'm not coping with. Reminds me I'm alive enough... I can laugh. No matter how skewed that laughter is. More 'appropriate' reactions later.)

 

[SabrinaB]

It may be some type of physical or somatic release? No experience with this particular phenomena so not very helpful, but wanted to let you know your post was read and will be curious to see what others may offer.

 

[Jobriel]

I do the same thing. I tend to laugh when I am beginning to dissociate if I am with a therapist at the time. I don't do it when I am alone. I think that maybe I am feeling embarrassed about the loss of control. I also still worry that I am unconsciously making everything up, so I feel like I shouldn't be dissociating because I don't really dissociate.(It's clear that I do, but I have serious denial issues.)

 

[Kintsugi]

I think the somatic release thing @SabrinaB said was really interesting and potentially accurate for me when I do this. The laughing v crying thinng @Cashew said is definitely accurate for me. Laughter is actually fairly grounding to me, I realized recently. It's a way to feel something without totally breaking down, so I think for me it also has to do with a sort of "snapping back."

Interesting topic.

 

[Anarchy]

It's a way to feel something without totally breaking down, so I think for me it also has to be with a sort of "snapping back."

That just made something clear - why I feel the urge to laugh at the sickest "jokes"

 

[Ronin]

... Also stealing/taking back the power of whoever's bringing out that kind of laughter, me thinks. If I can laugh about whatever it is? It doesn't hold the same power over me, and isn't fear, instead something relieving & energizing.

 

[Kintsugi]

Maybe this is tangential, maybe it isn't. The first time my boyfriend raped me, having been raped as a child for years, I laughed while majorly, crazily dissociating. I know someone else who had developmental trauma and then laughed during a major trauma while dissociating. All this to say, @Cashew may have something here.

 

[sun seeker]

Yes, I do the same thing. Not sure why. Thank you for bringing this up.

 

[Anarchy]

laughed during a major trauma while dissociating.

Laughter seems to be a social signal of our harmlessness

I also read a paper in one of the evolutionary psychology journals putting forward the idea that smiling is a way to signal subordinate and hence harmless status, which rings true, the characters who try to project themselves as alpha human dog or alpha human bitch, don't appear to have the lines or musculature on their faces that indicate they have ever had any practice a really laughing or smiling.

 

[Anarchy]

Just to add to my last one,
In martial arts practice sessions, if someone applies an incredibly painful lock (overstretched nerves and ligaments, or pressure on a nerve, giving continuous pain, rather than the fading pain of a strike), a lot of the people, when they are feeling the pain will automatically laugh in submission

 

[Kintsugi]

@Anarchy Yeah, I know apes (not sure about all primates) "bare their teeth" (smile) as a sign of submission. I definitely get a case of the giggles when I'm trying to ameliorate a situation I feel is tense. I also laugh in response to lots of stress or grief. I can't stop smiling when people say something super sad, which sucks. However, when it comes to dissociation, I have only laughed a few times. Usually I'm not "there" enough to laugh.

I was derealizing really badly in therapy a little over a month ago, and my T said something that made me want to laugh... I let out something like a snort/snicker, and it grounded me for a couple of seconds, then back under the abyss I went.

ETA: the whole submissive smiling/laughter thing really sucks for sexual harrassment, because my first (and sometimes only real) response to being harrassed--even if it's really bad--is to smile and laugh. Even if I'm doing that while saying, "No, please, stop, don't" it isn't taken seriously by the perpetrator OR passers-by/onlookers. :(