Leap To Anger Goes Too Fast

[Klo]

I noticed there are forums for depression/sadness, as well as anxiety/fear, but didn't see anything for anger.

When I am wound up and jumpy/tense, I get angry very easily. I tend to internalize it, but it still sucks.

I believe that what happens is that my emotional processing just goes way too fast.

For one, crying was never allowed when I was growing up, and crying would be met with physical punishment.
Then, my fear turns into anger very quickly, my fight response activates too easily.

So what happens is that when something hurts me, and I feel sadness, I immediately then feel fear, which immediately turns into rage.

All of this happens in what seems like a split second.

Then I internalize it, so that I am often in a state of depression/internal anger.

I guess in therapy, you know, you're supposed to work on your feelings, but I feel like I can't every time because it happens so fast.

I have even tried CBT/DBT exercises, and while I can bumble through them when I am calm, I can't do them once I am set off, and it's like it all goes out the window.

I feel like I need a way to slow it all down, like slow down my mind, if I could just catch the train before it blows past the hurt and fear stations and right into the rage station.

Anyone else struggle with this? Found anything that helped to slow it down?

 

[ladee]

Absolutely !!!! From normal to rage in one second. When I first started therapy, my T drew a ling on a white board. At the first of the line she wrote, 'upset', at the end of the line she wrote 'rage'.... in between she wrote a sequence of 'feelings' that should supersede the rage !!! I was absolutely amazed. I mean I really felt like a child who was told Santa was real.... so I had hope, for the first time in my life, that rage would not be my constant companion. There were so many ways to protect myself... WOW..... so we started with learning what the other feelings felt like... some of them I had no clue... some I understood, but they were closer to the 'rage' end... but now if I rage, I get physically ill... can not do that massive flood of adrenaline anymore.... you can learn this.... like all of our healing, it takes time...

 

[Friday]

Dealing With Anger

The Ptsd Cup Explanation

These.

 

[Klo]

Dealing With Anger

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Thanks, having a look.

 

[Klo]

Okay nevermind.

 

[Sideways]

I can relate to the stress cup thing when it comes to self-directed anger. Instead of it coming back too fast, I don't think I really get rid of it in the first place, and since I don't tolerate other feelings very well (crying makes me really angry at mysef!), the anger goes from levels that are high, but normal for me, to overwhelming crazy fast.

I did an 8 month exercise with a psychologist last year where I had to track my physical symptoms every day (clenched jaw, muscle tension, tummy troubles, etc). Regardless of my mood going up & down over time, every single day, I'd ticked off most of the phsyical signs of distress within 2 hours of waking up:confused:

My psychologist kept telling me that for the average person, they can get through whole days with only getting a couple of those physical symptoms briefly during the day...apparently living like that all the time is unhealthy!

Stress cup. Stressed body. Self-loathing. All the time. Doesn't take much for it to take over. Dang!

 

[ladee]

@Ragdoll Circus, is there a possibility you could direct me to that list?? I have no one to bounce it off of, so feel like this would help me be more aware of my stress level... I am just numb a lot of the time, and just don't pay attention.
And I relate to getting angry with myself for crying... it was a sign of weakness in my family,or should I say my oldest Ugly Sister.....took me a long time to cry without shame.
Sorry you are still having such a rough time. Thinking of you..:)

 

[Sideways]

@ladee - I think it was produced by the suicide prevention clinic she works for, but I have copies at home on my bookcase of therapy books & homework & I can scan it when I get home:)

 

[ladee]

Thank you so much @Ragdoll Circus. I appreciate the extra work of you doing this for me. Very appreciated !!:hug:

 

[Sideways]

@ladee - meh, that's how we roll here eh!?!

 

[ladee]

:D, ya, ain't it great... !!! Thanks again :hug:

 

[Terri Armstrong]

I noticed there are forums for depression/sadness, as well as anxiety/fear, but didn't see anything for ange...

My best suggestion is to "take a break from the situation". I used to get in the car and drive for a while - alone... Now, I have been able to construct better boundaries... I use terms such as: "Let me get back with you"; "I need to think about this"; "I'd rather not answer your question right now", "I am not talking about this issue any more". It really does not matter who I am communicating with; I stick to my guns and wait until I have had time to digest the dialogue. I get angry pretty quickly and always seem to be on "high alert"... especially around men. I know the term for this is "Hyper Vigilance" and I have to try and stop being threatened or scared all the time. It is like the "flight or fight" switch is always ready to be turned on. Journaling helps me too. I am hoping that sharing on this web page will help me and others too...