Learning To Feel Safe

[falling_wave]

Yes if I am having flashbacks I make my mind remember a specific time and place where I felt safe. I imagine the sound, smell, feel, etc. To recenter myself and avoid becoming overwhelmed. I learned this in therapy and we call it an anchor. If something becomes particularly distressing we return to the anchor and then go back to it with a safer mindset.

 

[shimmerz]

@sun seeker at night time I was having a horrible time with terrors. I had had enough. Somehow I came up with the idea that I build an imaginary 'safe place' (because nothing in the real world was safe). I visualized a desert island with nothing on it and decided I needed trees for food - so visualized trees with lots of coconuts. Then a pineapple grove, the a horse to get me around the island. Then a cave to sleep in. Then a very small and protected space in the cave. Then a blanket that was soft and fuzzy and completely surrounded me. Then a pillow. Then no noise but a distant trickling of water from a small waterfall. Then a kitten purring in my neck. Then the smell of lilacs. The cool thing about visualization is that it can be anything you want. I even grew wings so I could fly! They were a bit of a pain when walking so I called them up on demand. lol.

Now, no night terrors. None. During the day I conjure the image and THAT is my safe place. Anytime. Anywhere. Insta-calm.

 

[shimmerz]

I have learned how to send chills through my body when needed so that I can calm myself within seconds.

This is fascinating to me. I do this (but didn't train myself to) and feel like it is me 'being in my body' before I leave it (if that makes sense). Can you post about this @Solara ? How did you learn how to do it? What is involved?

 

[sun seeker]

Somehow I came up with the idea that I build an imaginary 'safe place' (because nothing in the real world was safe).

Yes, I have a place like that too, which I have built up and added to over the years. It's a pretty neat world I have going. I got the idea from a book on Celtic spirituality that called that safe place "Nemeton".

I still have the problem, though, that past a certain level of scared, nothing I do helps. Say on a scale from 0 to 10, if my fear goes past about a 7, I don't know how to bring myself back.

 

[shimmerz]

that past a certain level of scared, nothing I do helps

How long does it take to hit a 7?
Is there anything that warns you that you will be going that far up the scale?
Do you have any physical symptoms that you are aware of?
If someone is with you can they intervene if hitting 7 or upwards? If so, how can they help?
What happens if you hit 7 or upwards? What is your usual reaction?

 

[sun seeker]

How long does it take to hit a 7?

Hmm. My impression is it happens very quickly in response to certain triggers and that there wouldn't be time to intervene, but I haven't really thought about these questions before so will pay attention and see what I find. Thanks for the suggestions (well, questions really, but the suggestion is to pay attention to these things).