Let's Do This Mental Health Language Thing Then

[joeylittle]

This thread was locked; it's going to be re-opened. I'm going to address a few things, and then I'd like to see it get back to topic - mental health language and how it is applied.

Personally I'd use the report function but that's just me.

I did. It wasn't helpful.

I stated earlier in an edit, and will restate here: the Anonymous poster in post #2 was thread-banned and has been dealt with. @shimmerz, you were only one of the people who reported it, and thank-you to the reporters.

I know that I took time to respond to your report, specifically, and you were kind enough to come to my profile page and let me know that you understood and accepted my response. The anon. poster was removed from the thread. And that all happened prior to the exchange I'm quoting, above. Coming on here and stating that the report wasn't helpful seems strangely disingenuous.

It's PTSD. Flare-ups are expected. It's a free-speech board; everyone is entitled to an opinion. Personal attacks aren't tolerated. Dragging a feud from one thread to another - which I now understand is what happened here - isn't going to end well. That's ultimately what got this thread shut down temporarily and resulted in a temp ban for the OP.

No-one can see what happened to Anonymous, because they posted as anonymous. Nor does anyone need to. We don't take actions on staff based on some principle of equal blame; it's not about blame. It's always and only about an individual poster's actions, and how their choices accumulate. This isn't crime and punishment.

Finally - it's a tough time of year for anyone, and extra-hard for PTSD folk. There's stress all over the board right now. That's not an excuse, it's just a reality of the season; we'd do each other a favor to remember that.

Now, the thread is unlocked and the temp ban is lifted. It's a great topic, and I hope to see it continue; probably not without strong disagreement and argument, but certainly without personal attack. Please assume that the person posting has good or neutral intentions; and use the report function as needed. Everyone has the power to walk away from the thread at any time.

Thanks. Back to the thread.

(To keep the thread on-topic, if anyone has a response to this, they can PM me to keep it confidential, or they can open a help-ticket)

 

[shimmerz]

Not sure if you know, or not, that ^^^ is my & my son's ongoing life?

Yes, I am very aware of this. And I wish for your son and yourself and very different and much more positive outcome. I hope you know that.

That being said, I am about 15 years ahead of you in the game I believe. And I truly hope that you never understand what my postings are about and the underlying reasons for them.

 

[shimmerz]

Yes, I clearly come from a different place on this. There is my own past trauma where I was told a thing wasn't a thing (catatonia) even though it drove my life. On those grounds I have a basic mistrust of the idea that a thing is a thing just because it is said that it is a thing. My life experience is different.

For things that there are no words (in my vocabulary anyway) and where I am trying to figure stuff out and learn how to manage my stress levels and reactions to them right.now, I do need comparisons. Not to go labeling stuff, and rhyming off those labels to other people, but so that I can get a sense of what might be going on and figure out a game plan to keep myself safe within the dynamic that I am attempting to understand.

So I do understand (and this posting has helped) that things are 'yours' and they are like 'this' and there are specified 'things' involved with these definitions. And Friday, you may be on to something in that I am trying to reverse engineer something here so that I can be the best mother/grandmother that I can be given the dynamics in this family.

And I may be off course sometimes. I hope you can forgive me for that. What I am hoping that you will understand is that I am not attempting to take away from what is yours but instead, trying to minimize the damage in my own family by being better informed than I was when I was raising my children when they were young.

If I am looking for a 'like' it is because I am attempting to fight for the health of my family, not because I am attempting to take away from your experiences. And 'likes' are important to me, yes. Are my children's experiences stockholme like? Well, yes, they are. And perhaps where we part is when looking at a family unit rather than one's own personal experience it does become like-like. Because everyone's experience in the family is different. But I know now if they are stockholm like enough, then talking about their father is getting me nowhere, which is really freaking helpful to me right now.

So yes, words are important, but I feel they may be important in different ways to different people. And if my posts feel to you as if I am trying to invalidate your experiences I truly am sorry. And perhaps it is self serving of me to be digging around and trying to find answers and triggering people off. And again, for that I am sorry as well. But for now, I am me first and fighting for my own mental health in a very unhealthy environment and I am a grandmother and a mother (second and third) who is attempting to be aware of the family issues AND be a positive influence in my family's lives.

Thank you for helping me to clear the air on this. I have felt push back for a long time here. That is not a blame thing against anyone, it is instead an acknowledgement that for some I have rocked the boat and have no interest in harming anyone here because of my issues. Nor do I have the need for walking into a painful situation myself as I try to dig for answers. If this is not the place for me to be because my issues are not a fit for this community, then that is okay.

I thank each and every one of you for all that you are and all that you have been. I wish you all well in your healing journey. It is my greatest hope that you are able to live your lives in peace.

Shimmerz