List Your Joke, Funny Caption To Brighten Ptsd

[anthony]

With a flourish of finality he says "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, That is true, but... it was the Italians who
introduced it to women."

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: I needed that one... what a piss cutter Carp! Thanks.

 

[carpediem2006]

From Google :: Type in "Failure"

:: Choose "I'm feeling Lucky" :: Chuckle

 

[anthony]

Yer, that was has been round for a long time now, along with "miserable failure" and several others. This was actually some people doing a little domain hijacking to get those statistics for terms not relevant to the presidential pages and so forth... still funny, and hasn't changed for over a good year now.

 

[wildfirewildone]

The things in life that annoy us the most! View attached image.

That was so so so HILARIOUS!!!!! I will have to dig up some where in my brain a few jokes.....Did you know that HUMOR is an excellent THERAPY!!!! Having a sense of humor has been so important in my life!!! I say that God gave me a sense of humor at birth because He knew what a SHITTY life I was headed for!!!

 

[wildfirewildone]

Thanks for the suggestion!!! Sounds hilarious!!! I do have a thing for bunnies so that will make it even FUNNIER!!!

 

[wildfirewildone]

WOWWWWWWWWW!!! I am sooooooooo delighted with all this HUMOR stuff....I needed all of this TODAY!!!!!!!

 

[wildfirewildone]

My turn on the LOL train

Have you heard about the new restaurant on the Moon?


Great food but no atmosphere!!!!!!!

T-shirts in catalogues:

Your trailer park called and they want their idiot back!
I've cooked for many people So far nobody's Died
If I share my recipe I will have to kill you!
You are not the Boss of Me My Cat Is
What is the Speed of Dark?

 

[wildfirewildone]

What an American Sport is all about

A young couple had been dating for awhile. As it happened one day the guy said to the lady "Have you ever been to a football game?". She replied "Well...no I haven't" He said "How about we go to the game next weekend" She replied "Okay" As time would have it...the day of the game arrived...the couple went and watched the the game...Afterwards the guy said to the lady "Well...how'ld you enjoy the game?" "Wellllll"....she said..."It was okay but the one part I don't understand was the fuss over a quarter"...."A quarter?!" he replied..."yeah....I kept hearing them say "Get the quarter back...get the quarter back!!!!!!!!!

 

[reallydown]

*if you're American, please understand that i'm not trying to diss your whole country--just those currently running the show...

Q: what do you get when you have a dick (cheney) and a bush (w) running the country?

A: screwed over

 

[sonrisa]

Great thread! Found these ...

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Pilot Log:

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Cat

 

[anthony]

Those flight one's crack me up... thanks Cat.

 

[wildfirewildone]

Me Too!!!! I sure had a huge bellylaugh with the Flight ones!!! Thanxs for posting those!!! As I've said before...LAUGHTER IS GOOD THERAPY!!!!!
wildfirewildone