Lonely And Hopeless In Nyc

[Finding Maeve]

I just moved back to New York after being away over 15 years. I know very few people, and none who understand PTSD and severe depression. If one more person tells me that getting a gym membership and exercising will help me feel better, I will scream. How can I exercise when I can't get out of bed? The depression is like a magnet in my soul. The other magnet is my bed. I'm 41 and lost everything to drugs and alcohol before getting sober three years ago. Without my "crutch," I was left to face my new diagnosis: PTSD. Formerly successful, my life spiraled until I was hospitalized five times in six months. I was left with nothing and no one. I moved back to be closer to my father and step-mother, but they have their own lives. I get therapy and med changes and brief bursts of improvement, but I always end up the same - depressed and haunted by my past. I used to think that something would have to change - that the odds would force my life to improve. But I am losing hope and becoming resigned to live alone and isolated. I've given up hope of meeting any man who would find me desirable. I have a part-time job as a nanny, and I come straight home, get into bed and write, which is my only pleasure. If I didn't have to work, which is extremely difficult to do anyway, I would never leave my bed. Is there a local PTSD support group in NYC? I need contact with people who understand.

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Hello there Still...

I love your avatar picture :> I feel like that a lot

I know how you mean about feeling that at some point your life simply just has to turn around and start working but it never does - Well it did eventually for me but it took its sweet time about it.

Here is a support group - I have had good luck with Meetup Groups - Not sure if this one is any good though it has gotten good reviews.
[DLMURL]http://www.meetup.com/newyorkcity-ptsd/[/DLMURL]

Praying things get better for you -

Blessings - Laurie

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Hi still, well done for staying clean for three years. Unfortunately excessive alcohol and drugs can leave you with depression or make you depress.
I'm not a great medication taker and rely heavily on alternative therapies to help me, unfortunately I'm going to make you scream because I'm a great believer in exercising to help to raise the levels in your brain that makes us depressed. I run three times a week, walk every where because I won't drive due to traumas, do classes three times a week and that's what helps me personally. Yes it's been very hard for me to get out of bed try to live a normal life and it could be very easy to turn around in bed and switch off from the world, but this can lead to isolation and feeling even worse. Ive suffered depression , I have been sectioned under the mental health act , due to some severe traumas which has left me with cptsd, but I refuse to let my abusers win, I have had days when I've wanted to slit my wrists, take an overdose, I've cried so hard that at times I've felt my heart and soul were going to explode but I'm still not going to let my abusers win! It's not easy , it's very very very hard , its a long roller coaster journey and emotions that can be quiet frightening . And I live this daily.
You can ask for medication to help to lift you but there are alternative ways too. Please don't curl up and let depression eat away at you , your an amazing person to be clean of drugs for three years that must have been a great achievement, continue fighting, don't give up. I know you can fight it.

 

[Wounded Scribe]

Hello, and welcome. Your story resonated with me, and thank you for sharing it. I hope you find your stay here, informative, and a place where you can meet some friends, and ease that sense of loneliness.

 

[Finding Maeve]

Thank you for the support, and Laurie for the meet-up link. I joined the group and hope to go to one. Do you go the meet-ups for that group? It's crazy having no one to talk to. The sadness is so intense and it's just stagnant, nowhere to go. I'm just amazed that my family doesn't ask me how I'm doing when they know I'm going through this. It's such an easy question. All I can think is subconsciously they can't handle the answer. When I'm depressed, I don't call people and announce that I'm not doing well. I ask them how their doing and don't offer up burdensome, depressing information. But I'm honest when asked. Only people who go through this know what it's like.

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Hey Still -

Great news - Glad you are hooking up with them - Let us know how it goes.

No, I don't go to that group - but I have hooked up with some great groups and great folks in groups that get together to explore Buddhism.

Yeah I know what you mean about your family - ya think 'well, they could at least ask'. But they don't and it is sad - But at some point I stopped expecting it and was able to let it go eventually and still hoping that they were happy.

And you are absolutely right - only people with PTSD know what it is like - so in a way I cannot blame them as they really don't know how great it would be for us to have our family in our corner - so we must go it alone.

Hope things work out

Laurie

 

[Flowers In Bloom]

Hi Still Haunted,

I suffer from (complex) PTSD, too. I would not recommend New York City PTSD Support. My own limited contact with the organizer was disastrous. A year or so ago, I successfully rallied members of the group to participate in a PTSD meet, since none was forthcoming and I myself needed support at the time, but the organizer was really threatened by it and lashed out at me (in the comments section). I subsequently withdrew my membership. It's a true story :)

My own life came to a screeching halt four years ago, following severe trauma, and I'm now in the process of trying to find and heal all pieces or parts of my self. My daily life is a constant struggle, but I find pockets of hope and inspiration in real sharing and closeness with other people. I'm a fun-loving, funny!, warm, hip, open-minded person in your age range and would be willing to meet you to see if we connect in some way. I just don't know how one does it on this site without breaching confidentiality.

 

[joeylittle]

I'm a fun-loving, funny!, warm, hip, open-minded person in your age range and would be willing to meet you to see if we connect in some way. I just don't know how one does it on this site without breaching confidentiality.

You can use the PC function to have a private conversation with any member, and that will not be searchable or ever made public. However, you are a new member, and I would caution you against being too open with any identity on the web. A big part of what this site does is let people build supportive and organic relationships over time. I'm sure you can trust in your own motives for offering to meet, but you cannot necessarily trust in someone elses', nor they in yours.

I'm saying this not to induce paranoia or panic. I remember when I first joined I was so thrilled to find a community that I would have met anyone for coffee; that's a pretty normal impulse, but not actually the safest thing to do at the outset.

 

[Flowers In Bloom]

I hear you. Thank you, joeylittle.