Long term trauma treatment mentioned again

[hermione]

So my therapist just brought up long term trauma treatment again...I was doing better she saw growth but now she feels I have regressed. Nightmares and flashbacks have ramped up I have fallen into bad depression and my eating disorder has been not great and we had a session Thursday she sent me home early as I was just exhausted she said she would make up the time but I just feel like I can't go to treatment I have a job but she said with the level of care I have if I can't get out of this I need more help...she was looking up options as I was silent in the session mostly...I am just scared...to leave my life I love my job but I also can't live like I am...it's a tough position I have to get out of what I am in but I fear I am just done. But scared to make that choice though my therapist will talk to me more when I see her again but I just am scared to leave what I do have there are no ptsd day programs around me or even support groups for trauma. Idk anymore

 

[anonymous]

That sucks if you love your job to have to leave. One question that I have is how stressful and demanding is your job? It's difficult to work through trauma regularly and work full time. Therapy isn't easy and takes a lot of work to deal with your trauma. Would your work and coworkers be supportive if you took a leave of absence? I would caution you on that, but it might be an option. Is it possible to attend therapy more often? Even if you have to quit working, if you have a good relationship with your therapist you are likely to make more progress with her rather than having to start all over. I'm not sure how strong your ED is, but extreme nutrition deficiencies can make it nearly impossible to deal with trauma and think clearly, yet if you deal with the trauma that can help with the ED. Those are difficult decisions to make, especially if finances are a concern also.

 

[ThePhoenix]

Is taking FMLA an option for you?
I'm sorry you are struggling so much with your eating disorder. I can soooo relate to that. It seems the closer I get to feelings the stronger the pull towards behaviors become. Are there things you can do as an outpatient to keep yourself from requiring inpatient treatment? Would it help you more to be in a more structured place until you have symptom control? I know everyone's treatment is different but something's that help me.... pushing myself to be open with my T (sooo much easier said than done!), making sure I establish bare minimum guidelines around food and other habits and most importantly... not putting a label on the behaviors i.e. "Good or bad". I spend a lot of time reminding myself that my eating disorder developed to help me cope and make me feel safe. I don't need the eating disorder to feel safe anymore, the actual physical threat is gone. BUT the biochemical habit is still present. If you need more help getting your brain out of this rut or pattern please know there is no shame in that. The longer you wait the harder it is.
Your T sounds like she is intune with you and is hearing what your not saying and I'm glad you have someone like that looking out for you.

 

[FauxLiz]

It's difficult to work through trauma regularly and work full time.

I have to whole heartedly disagree. I work full-time in a very busy and challenging position. I also work very hard in therapy dealing with my trauma. I won't say that it is easy but nothing in life worth doing is easy.

I am not saying that long term therapy shouldn't be an option it is for many people but I believe that you can work and do therapy at the same time depending upon your symptoms and current mental state.

 

[anonymous]

Well goody goody for you. Either I'm a f*cken wimp or I have trauma you can't even fathom.

 

[hermione]

Thanks for the support. I am the head teacher at a daycare and work with toddlers ages 1-3 it is very demanding work but like this year i got a raise and idk its difficult to think of leaving my classroom and my kids and even if i could take a leave of absence no one at works know about my issues my coworkers are kind but i am just very private. my eating disorder at the moment is not at its worse at all its like not great but i have been way worse. and my therapist does not want eating disorder treatment but trauma treatment because eating disorder treatment inpatient makes me worse. i see my therapist twice a week but both are double sessions i can't really increase it. I don't make much money as a daycare teacher i am still on social security ssd or whatever you can have disability and work at the same time that i am most likely losing next year and money will be more of a struggle and i will most likely get kicked off my moms insurance...my work insurance sucks so i am going to be in a rough spot soon but you know $14 an hour is too much money...finally above minimum wage but still its difficult to pay for the appointments i have now all are out of network my team is amazing but i am just not doing well again. my therapist has brought this up before because she feels if what i am doing now treatment wise isn't working i need more serious help. if 4 hours of therapy is not enough 2 nutritionist appointments a month and one psychiatrist appointment...i am just in a bad place but hard to leave the life i have i want to make outpatient work but we have be down this road many times...and i have tried EMDR...that didn't work so i have done stuff...

 

[EveHarrington]

Well goody goody for you. Either I'm a f*cken wimp or...

This is kind of rude.

I don't know if you're the person who only posts as anon, but if you are, I think it's time to come out from behind the veil.... I say this only to urge you to find your own voice, the one that belongs to you and isn't anonymized.... ( I'm totally guessing on this one, but was kind of tipped off when I noticed all of the anon posts in things like the association thread....of course it's your right to post as anon, but I think you're using it as an unhealthy crutch perhaps.)

And yes, "anon" is blocked for me as I can't handle the anon posts much of the time (as I stated in another thread). I viewed blocked posts in this thread because I couldn't understand the conversation.

 

[anonymous]

Butt out @EveHarrington. Don't pretend to know me and attempt to analyze what you don't have a clue about. I don't need to explain anything to you. You know nothing about my 'VOICE'.

 

[Beans]

Is it possible for you to take part time hours so you're able to better handle trauma work and your job at the same time?

Re trauma and work- everyone's experience is different. Some people can actively work while working through their trauma, many cannot. Many on this site cannot. And it's ok. Though we can all come together to support one another, nobody can truly know what's going on inside each individual. It is not at all rare for pple with severe PTSD to be on disability or living with family or struggling to get by. Some work from home to handle the stress. Some take very low stress jobs. Some can thrive in normal careers. Some function until one day they just cannot do it anymore. Point is work is difficult for many and the most important thing is taking care of you. See what you can handle and there's no shame if you can't and need extra help while you're working through your trauma.

I've had difficulties with chronic under or unemployment due to the sheer overwhelm I experience. It's just far too much. I get a job, but I leave a few months in because I just can't handle the stress. Other pple relax into their jobs, whereas my stress just keeps building until I can't take it anymore (also I've never been fired, i do well at these jobs and everyone likes me, but my amygdala is firing the entire time I'm there.) However, I've recently processed a ton of trauma and things have really shifted for me, so hopefully this time when I get a full time job i'll be able to more effectively use my coping skills and hang in there without becoming suicidal. All that to say, all our experiences are different.

 

[FauxLiz]

Anon why do you feel the need to attack others that don't agree. I didn't say you were a wimp or anything about your trauma history. I disagreed and tried to encourage the poster that it is possible to work and do trauma work. No that isn't the case for everyone but for some it can be done. By the way I doubt you know my trauma history either.

 

[hermione]

I can't really work part time at my job as I am head teacher and really no one is part time so that doesn't really work and I love my job. It's one of the few things I do enjoy even when it is stressful. That is why I don't want to go to a long term treatment program and leave it I am struggling but not sure what to do ...

 

[lostforgottensoul]

It's difficult to work through trauma regularly and work full time.

No it's not. I go to therapy weekly, work 40 hrs a week, and I am training a service dog. I do spend every min I have in a day, and have chronic pain which is a huge limitation plus I squeeze in other Drs like my pain Dr, but doable.

For me, its the minset that makes it doable. Just from my personal expetience. Not saying anything about those that cannot work. Only saying working a full time job and a trauma therapy program at the same time is completely doable.