Sufferer Looking For Any Support I Can Get. At The End Of My Rope

[mamachick]

Sorry, the movie Fireproof that Russ suggested.

 

[RussH]

Two times failed.

Not two times failed; just two times finding a way marriage doesn't work- The Thomas Edison approach:)

 

[Shannonstrong]

Seymour..I would love to hear your story..As far as justice for me and what this city has put me through, this story was about it. I won summary judgement and the right to trial in federal court but the city appealed that to the Federal Court of Appeals in Chicago. My attorney had 10 minutes to prove a case and when it came back I lost my right to trial because the city argued lies to the crt of appeals. Therefore I get nothing other than the media that I can try to use. I have an email to a reporter asking her about doing a story on the aftermath of and the effects it has on someones life. Im also attempting to sue them for contract violation

 

[mamachick]

Shannon that is an injustice. I am very sorry. One or two bad apples can cause a life forever changed.

My ptsd began after being falsely arrested and assaulted by an officer in 2008. At 50 yrs old, I asked a house guest to leave. I was dating him. He had been pouting all night long because my daughter came home from college on xmas break and was getting all the attention as I stayed up half the night catching up with her. He gathered his things but after about half hour I went to lock the door but he was still here. He wanted to go back into my room and I said no.

I am a mental health counselor that worked with domestic violence victims and I had told him how many officers abuse women. Well he called and met the officer at the door, flashing his former fbi badge?? The officer immediately said he had arrested me at another address. I said that I had never been arrested. He asked if I was calling him a liar......the officer escalated things after that, pointing my own gun in my face that he had the guest retrieve from his vehicle. (we use to target practice).

He did recognize me from court (working with victims) but I did not tell him. I was very quiet, not intentionally, but because I had a traumatic brain injury 2 yrs before and at times freeze. I also wanted to be treated as any citizen would. He assaulted me, took me for joy ride, took me to an alley, met an ambulance when I was further dumped, to the hospital all the while in pajamas missing a button and draw string. Exposed everywhere. In hospital, he verbally abused me for an hour and threatened me. Started to take me to jail and turned around when prosecutor told him to get me back to the magistrates office where he paraded me around with blood running down my leg.

Next month I get surgery for the torn rotator cuff. I had abnormal post menopausal bleeding for 3 weeks and other injures. This led to a drug overdose and 6 months later a suicide attempt. My lawyer held the case up and did not proceed by statute of limitation. I have a lawsuit against attorney.

I really do not care anymore. It happened Dec. 16 2008, and I doubt that you will see me back on here after that date this year. I have plans. I wasn't his first victim and wont be his last. Sorry, this is probably TMI. I am grateful for the many good officers I have known and met since.

 

[mamachick]

I guess you can tell I have a brain injury. The cop asked if bf lived here and he admitted he did not. Said he paid no household bills. My 20 yr old daughter watched all of this including a gun in my face. I was drug away. Officer left my gun with daughter and left 50 yr old bf here with her. She went in her room and we were robbed. Just jewelry and cash. oh well

 

[Shannonstrong]

brat17,

That is amazing...as a former officer I could not imagine doing those things. Although I saw alot from other officers. They would lie in court, lie on probable cause, lie where ever they needed to in order to look good in court. Me personally, I did things like spread small amounts of weed into the grass to give a kid a second chance, I would refuse to make an arrest if I didn't have all the elements of the crime. I didn't beat people or harass them. Heck... when I did make an arrest I would ask the prisoner what he wanted to listen to as I had a variety of music..most of the time it was 2pac.. I worked the ghettos of Indianapolis. I was a cop for 7 years and not one single citizen ever complained on me for anything. Most cops receive atleast one a month. My best friend who stood by me for about 3 years after my incident cut ties when he realized I didn't win my lawsuit...he was a cop. He was a cop I pulled out of backyard after being shot when no other cops would go to him.

I understand your anger, I think about the Detective that created this story about me everyday. And I mean everyday. And I always say if I ever ..ever come across him again whether its he is working or just at wal mart...its gonna be a bad day. Thats why my dreams of moving back to where I am from and have MY family are so important...I know I would be a different person if I just left this place..but in my reality. I would have to walk away from my family and only half that is my daughter who would never understand because my wife has no problem watching me rot here.

I feel you on making their own Karma for them. Dec 8th 2008 was the day my arrest ended my career and life..as I knew it.

Thank you for sharing that and I hope and pray that we can figure out a better way.

 

[Seymour]

Not very good at a lot of things anymore. been over 10 years since it began. 4 years of legal battles. maybe not so high profile as your sit.. I just had property "the people" wanted at all cost and they got it. Wisconsin statutes pretty brutal if they so choose. I kinda went nuts. live as far back in the woods as wisconsin has to offer and still have electricity. can't even hardly approach the subject without loosing my mind. It was everything I had. Not so very much, but it was mine. Best I can do right now. Hope you can find some support and above all a little peace, shannon.

 

[macca]

@brat17

I doubt that you will see me back on here after that date this year. I have plans. I wasn't his first victim and wont be his last

I hope you don't mean what I took that to mean. I'm hoping you mean that it will be a tough time, but you'll come out the other side and we'll see you back here next year (not that I want you to need to be here, but that you are a valued member of this community). If it is what I took it as, then please make sure you have set up lots of support for yourself around that date. Your daughter will want to keep you around...and we all want to keep you around too. I know what it's like to not want to be around anymore, but the feeling comes and goes, meaning it will pass again if we hold on. If I got it wrong, apologies!

 

[Stanley Shi-Yume]

I meant to respond over the weekend but was interrupted by family. My daughter was born before I hit the full burn awareness of my PTSD. I feel like she started the process of making me alive again. There is a unique bond that I have never once experienced outside my interactions with this small self.

In the past I had strong lack of a sense of self. I learned this is due to my PTSD. It felt like there was no me. It was just my intellectual way of trying to make sense of how bad I felt. In any case, my child being born felt like my first experience with a real self. She was me.

In my new PTSD informed view of myself, as a super dead persona, she became perceived a resurrecting force.... starting to re-energize the dormant and cold parts of me that perhaps I had never even used.

How close to death I had come on multiple occasions, and how vividly, intensely validating it was to still be alive to experience this tiny self in spite of EVERYTHING. This was the positive beginning to my need to move closer to the lost emotional self. I think that might be what you're experiencing too.

 

[Shannonstrong]

Yes my daughter keeps me on it. She is so innocent and I look at her and know I have to fight this. I still deal with alot others around me, its like Im the big bad jerk or atleast thats how I feel they look at me. seems like my wife can smoke and joke with everyone but when it comes to me its all serious. She went to get an injection in her pelvis today and asked her mom to take her, even after we had a discussion about "wouldn't that be something you would want your husband at" so I guess to all of them and I say them because I feel like its me and then them. Im just the baby sitter dad. So while she is gone with her mom getting her shot, me and my daughter are going shopping.

 

[Seymour]

Shannon, my experiences changed me. The cortisol , adrenaline, and crap makes me a bit difficult to be around. Those who were close and liked me the way I was, had and still have trouble adjusting to this all too. Almost as bitchy as me, and maybe even better at it.. Understanding the physical goings-on has been the single most useful help I've gotten from anyone. I do try to cut 'm some slack. At least if they're still around. most aren't anymore. They really liked the guy I used to be. No they don't understand and it shows, but that puts them in with the majority. I can wish that I didn't have to know this, but that ain't happening. Any real suggestions, I got nothing to offer. Glad for you and your little girl. Have Granbabies myself.

 

[mamachick]

Shannon I understand your desire to move because you are living in the same city where all of this happened. I think that might be the worst part. It is hard to move on when those people are still around. Would your wife allow you to take your daughter? It sounds like she is busy working anyway and you would have family to help with her. I am glad that you have her. It was much easier to heal from things when my kids were little it seems. I knew that I always had to get over things and be on top of things for them. Now that they are grown, it is much harder-I have nobody else to do it for, and I dont know how to do for myself.