Sufferer Looking For Comfort From Childhood Trauma And New In The Ptsd Community.

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[gio_marino]

I don't have visual flashbacks, just emotional ones.

Same here. Never see anything. Random things just trigger temporary feelings of intensity and fear.

 

[ashdawn8287]

Gio, those are the worst aren't they? They take complete control over your feelings.

 

[gio_marino]

Gio, those are the worst aren't they? They take complete control over your feelings.

Oh yeah. I love to laugh and smile.. I always have comedy talk radio playing on my headphones or on the computer, but when it happens I totally lose my mood. which is why my ex was really pushing the bipolar medication. She resented my parents (hated them) for how I was raised, so its not even like the real issue of what happened to my mom was ever discussed.

 

[ashdawn8287]

Yeah I like comedy stuff. I haven't been doing much of that lately, maybe I should watch something funny today. I love smiling and laughing too I just feel lately that has been hard for me today. Yeah I honestly thought I was bipolar so it feels good I am not, and that this all stems from trauma and can be fixed. My fiancee talks to my parents, but a week ago he said, "Your parents just piss me off because it makes me wonder how different things would be if you weren't raised like that." That really stung and hurt, probably because I wonder that a lot too. But it's like I am not that bad right?

 

[smogmonster]

My fiancee talks to my parents, but a week ago he said, "Your parents just piss me off because it makes me wonder how different things would be if you weren't raised like that." That really stung and hurt, probably because I wonder that a lot too. But it's like I am not that bad right?

It sounds that way if you're feeling vulnerable. It doesn't sound to me like he was saying it to put you down, but rather to express anger and frustration about a situation that has hurt someone he loves. It's a way of grieving, mourning the loss of a life you might have lived. It's healthy to do this to an extent, but if it makes you uncomfortable, it's OK to ask him not to do it.

Before I was diagnosed I was trying to be supportive to someone I love who suffers from PTSD, and I can relate to the feelings he's expressing. However, at the time I didn't realize that expressions of anger at her abuser weren't all that helpful to her healing, at least until she told me, because it was all tied in to all this shame she felt about herself stemming from the abuse.

I'm sure your fiancee meant to express solidarity with you, that he's on your side, but I understand why it's hard to see that right now. In any event it's better to ask him directly than to let your imagination make up its own reasons or to assume the worst, which is very easy to do, believe me. But trust is important and takes time to establish when you're healing, and someone you love should be able to reassure you when there is a misunderstanding.