looking for hope - how to deal with night terrors?

[MamaHopeful]

Hello.
I type this while awake beside my sweet daughter who is sound asleep. I fell asleep putting her to bed tonight and then BAM woke up from a night terror about 10 minutes later screaming HELP HELP I CANNOT DO THIS.
I immediately repeated, "You are safe" over and over and got up to drink some water.
But the shame. My goodness, the shame of having such a sweet and innocent little human have to hear her mama screaming.
I used to not know what my night terrors were or why I was having so much trouble sleeping, but now I realize it is PTSD.
I was diagnosed and for a bit I felt relief.
But, honestly, now I just feel helpless because I haven't read or seen any success stories.
My situation with the night terrors is a little bit different because I am unable to take any medications. In my trauma I was drugged so each time I have tried to take a medication it sends me into a full blown cycle of being in my trauma. It would be like if your trauma was a bomb, but the only way to sleep would be to constantly be around bombs. It does the opposite and causes terror like nothing else.
So. Here I am.
Desperate for help and hope.
I fall asleep but then my body wakes me up in a full blown flashback/nightmare and the cycle keeps going all night. I get maybe 5 minutes of sleep at a time when this happens. Usually it's only a few nights a month but when it hits it is awful.
My question is, aside from drugs, which I tried and honestly cannot touch at this time, what has helped you?
If you say "you need drugs! only drugs will help!" that will only push me deeper into hopelessness. Please don't.
I need encouragement. I need hope and connection and love.
Thank you.

 

[EveHarrington]

I had night terrors for quite a few years. I don’t have them anymore. It honestly never occurred to me to post this “success”....then again I never post my successes as I don’t want to jinx myself. I didn’t get through them with drugs. Yes I have meds that help me sleep via side effects, but the meds don’t work on the night terrors. I never did anything to directly work on them, just chugged away at processing my trauma, and they eventually went away. :hug:

 

[MamaHopeful]

THANK YOU.

I had night terrors for quite a few years. I don’t have them anymore. It honestly never occurred to me to post this “success”....then again I never post my successes as I don’t want to jinx myself. I didn’t get through them with drugs. Yes I have meds that help me sleep via side effects, but the meds don’t work on the night terrors. I never did anything to directly work on them, just chugged away at processing my trauma, and they eventually went away. :hug:

What method worked best for chugging away? EMDR? CPT? Thanks!

 

[EveHarrington]

I kind of did a little bit of a lot... A little EMDR, an exposure therapy of sorts, along with non-processing therapies such as CBT, DBT, ACT, etc.

 

[MamaHopeful]

I kind of did a little bit of a lot... A little EMDR, an exposure therapy of sorts, along with non-processing therapies such as CBT, DBT, ACT, etc.

I really appreciate your help and honesty.
Right now I am feeling like, "What is the point of getting help if this is never going to get better?!" So, when I read stories like yours of people getting better, it helps me keep going.

 

[EveHarrington]

It sounds like you were lead astray, so it will take time to heal. Keep pushing forward, as healing is very much possible. Sometimes we move forward so slowly it can feel like we aren’t moving at all, but that can be the nature of healing. Please don’t give up! :hug:

 

[MamaHopeful]

they are less frequent but then when they hit (like tonight) I'm convinced it's allllll coming back and i'll end up never sleeping again. UGH. thanks again for being a source of hope.