Losing access to parts.

[Skywatcher]

We were dealing with a lot of present day stuff when mine went away. Lately, I’ve had some younger feelings though. Kind of like I can’t wait to go to bed so that I can close my eyes and feel my youngest parts being held by me. Feeling safe and cared for. Also, today my T hugged me goodbye and I felt safe and her touch is gentle. And I can feel it but it also still scares me a little too. Kindness is scary. Regardless, my parts love this hug. Even my adolescent parts do. Everyone used to be terrified.

 

[Ronin]

So you do have an access to them... it is just different form / emotional communication, than it was.

Second thoughts, even if you dont access them, what about their reaching each other?
Because there can be done so damn lot if the rest are fairly on board with each other, who is barricaded on the other side is just one person / you.

 

[hithere]

One of the lessons that I've learned is that when the Adult part tries to control things to protect the Littles, sometimes things go astray and it doesn't work as well as I would like.

I can say this absolutely happened to me a little over two years ago, and I haven't recovered from it. It's what happened in therapy and I don't know if I can recover or how. Since that happened in such a shattering way, the an adult part just taking charge and taking over, I have been very cautious in all areas of my life. This is not a bad thing. I wish I understood this better, and could explore it more. Thanks for the thread.

 

[Friday]

Very much my adult part in delivering my kid to college

Do you think this played a role? All the mental and emotional prep of sending your kid away... bleeding over into... sending kids away?

((IF so? Keep in mind that if you didn’t make going to college a horrible painful terrible miserable abandoned to the wolves event for your kid? But instead were doing the proud of you, confidence building, love infused, grand adventure send off we parents work so damn hard for, from kindergarten to university? There’s no reason to expect the bleedover would be any different. Parents are soooo damn good and at making these events powerful lovely that in homes with large families the little kids are often packing their bags too! :woot:because they want in on this action. Older kids know they aren’t/can’t go yet, but still soak up all the directionality -for lack of a better word- and respond in kind. Often by vanishing :facepalm: (Yo! Get back here! I’m not emptynesting, yet!); getting out with their friends, signing up for more sports and classes, laying claim to different rooms -even if only in secret, sneaking in and pretending they’re older, usually right at the moment you poke your head in to check on them and their bed is empty, or the swings vacant, etc. as they’re not where you expect them to be- just getting more independent seemingly overnight. Things settle, but it takes a little bit of time. When you make send offs good/fun/exciting things? Everyone wants a sendoff, more often than not.))