Supporter Lost. crazy. hopeful?

[LuckiLee]

Welcome.

I can understand why you're confused. PTSD is confusing. A great place to start your research would be reading the PTSD stress cup.

My veteran is my hs sweetheart. We reconnected after 25 years. We had our "honeymoon" stage and things got a little more serious. Then....PTSD. It got really dark for a "minute" and he called the Veterans crisis line and has been working the program ever since. You haven't mentioned if your guy was in treatment, is he?

J and I are learning about this sh*t together. And it's hard as h*ll. I'm not gonna lie. We work really hard. Everyday! And some days are a complete cluster f*ck.

This forum is a great place to gain information and support. I've learned so much here from both survivors and supporters.

Read around the supporters section while you're here. You'll see that your not alone and in good company. My advice to you would be educate yourself on (combat) PTSD (technically not a diagnosis but it is a bit different), slow waaaaaay down, learn about boundaries, and ask questions/share here. We'll help if we can.

Good luck with everything your guy is lucky to have you.

✌ & ❤

 

[Lostinlove4myvet]

Welcome.

I can understand why you're confused. PTSD is confusing. A great place to start your researc...

Thank you so much. I am loving the forums here. It is rapidly becoming a favorite spot for me .
No, my guy is not in any form of T, to my knowledge he has never been . He drinks, which luckily is controlled and doesn't seem to ever change his mood in any way but make him more relaxed and happier. But maybe he will start seeking some kind of help. We've been talking about him going in to the VA for a few different things , I just have to keep at him for that for a start, but hopefully we'll get there.
I am glad that you and your guy have found the strength to keep working hard . I'm hopeful that one day I can say that as well. I know none of this is easy, and I know it's extremely hard for him. On top of the combat PTSD , he has had many heart aches and also a very close friend who passed away from a car accident while on his way to see him, so he blames himself for that, and his mother is very ill, she will not be around much longer . So on top of the regular monster of PTSD, he has so many other things that keep him guarded. I love him though, so I'm here to learn what I can in order to help him the best way that I can.
Thanks again for the warm welcome !

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!

Just something I want to comment on.....

You may want to watch the drinking. Many of us with ptsd can’t drink at all. I can’t as I have crazy bad symptoms pop up that are otherwise controlled/gone.

Much of the time mental illness and alcohol don’t mix as alcohol is a depressant.

 

[Freida]

So..here's a thought on counseling. You might offer that you would like him to have some therapy before you move in - so that he can be ready for how he will handle stressors when they arise and he has someone living in his house. DO NOT make it an ultimatum.
Just a conversation on managing his ptsd in a way that can benefit you both while you are living together - because you are right -- it's going to add a whole new level of stress.

 

[Lostinlove4myvet]

Yes , my ex husband was a very abusive alcoholic . I am greatly aware of the dangers of alcohol. I feel that my vets drinking while it is a habit, it is controlled.
The idea of him entering counseling is a great thought, however it is one that he would not agree to. He's very sensitive to the word PTSD alone .