Lost On Long Island

[blueheaven]

Hi, my name is Valerie and I am 32 years old from New York. I've been to a number of psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers. Over the past 12 years, I've had at least a dozen different diagnoses including: DID/MPD, DDNOS, Psychosis NOS, and GAD- to name a few. Of course there's the PTSD diagnosis.

My problems got really bad at the age of 13, when my family moved to a new town. My parents bought their first house, and then my dad lost his job. My younger sister and I got abused pretty bad. I became severely depressed and had visions of hanging myself in the backyard. I didn't want to go to school, I didn't want to go home, and there was nowhere else for me to be. Much of the time I was not allowed to leave the house. Things just got worse as I grew older.

I've been hospitalized ten times for psychiatric symptoms. I am sick of going to the hospital. Until this August, I hadn't worked in ten years. I am on Social Security Disability and I live in supported housing now. I thought that by moving out of my parent's house I would be free, but have found that all the baggage has followed me.

I hope that this site can be helpful. Life is very difficult for me and I can only remember one day in my life when I considered myself to be happy.

 

[amethist]

Hi blueheaven

Welcome to the forum.

You have found a great place for help, advice, support and all the understanding you can find here.

There will be many members on here who will relate to what you have had to endure through you life. They will also understand where you are at now.

Take care and keep posting, it does help.

Amethist

 

[JohnnyM53]

Hi Blue

Welcome to what is probably the best website on the planet for on-line support and information for mental health issues, let alone one specific to trauma-related anxiety issues.

You may even come to find this place to be like a home, as it is for me. Lots of decent, caring, intelligent folks on here who have been through most difficult times, or are supporting those who have.

There's a touch of humor on this site as you'll find in various posts on here. We even have our very own "Ghost" who writes awesome lyrics about awful times and he's hilarious and super talented; we post jokes; and we have an on-line neurotic psychiatrist (who happens to be in love with Nurse Ratchet) who does musical therapy for hopeless cases. Always good to laugh at life and ourselves now and then.

Like you, I lived in an abusive home (first 14 years of my life), which had many trauma-related incidents. Also like you, I've had many diagnoses, saw many doctors/therapists, and had recurring suicidal thoughts, not to mention a fee attempts.

But we can overcome a lot of this.

I am happy today and told a friend of mine yesterday that I was celebrating a whole month of living without one thought of wanting to die for the first time in my life. In fact, I've never wanted to live more, and as hurtful, scary and anxiety-producing as my life has been, I'm glad I went through it all. It opened my eyes to so much!

Feel free to pop into the chat room and chat with those who go there.

You took the step of joining this site, which means you care about you and your happiness.

I hope you find some peace and comfort knowing you are not alone. We're here for you Blue.

Johnny

 

[rjtransient]

Hi blueheaven,

Welcome. I'm a distant stranger to much of what you've been through, but not to all -- my siblings and I also endured decades of abuse (physical, verbal, emotional), to the point that suicidal ideation was constantly with me. I'm also currently on government social assistance and living well below the poverty line. The effects of living with dysfunctional parents absolutely continue to haunt you once you're physically out of their house. I want to be able to say where it goes from here, but I honestly don't know yet.

There's a touch of humor on this site as you'll find in various posts on here. We even have our very own "Ghost" who writes awesome lyrics about awful times and he's hilarious and super talented; we post jokes. . . .

Apologies for badly editing Johnny's excellent post, but he's nailed it. I hope you find some of the topics of interest -- there are resources here of every variety.

 

[wattle]

Wecome to the forum blueheaven.:hello:

 

[blueheaven]

Thanks to everyone for the warm welcome. :)