Made It Through The 12th Anniversary!

[Fadeaway]

I made it through the 12th anniversary of the single most horrific day of my life. I didn't even think about it except once. I have been trying not to pay attention to dates the last few days. I briefly noticed at one point that it was yesterdays date, but distracted myself well.

First time not breaking down, losing it or yelling at everyone brave enough to come within 20 feet of me. Even though this is an accomplishment it is still hard, because if I think about any of the details, I still might lose it. I am fighting not to go there as I type this. I know now I can do what I need to do to survive. If I had to function in the real world on a day like today, I might have been able too.

 

[seedling]

Congratulations on making it through!

That is a tough one to behave well when you can feel the presence of it underneath everything.

 

[macbeth]

I think you have done an awesome job of getting through it @Fadeaway. I know on the anniversary of my assault I thought I was ok but I fell apart. Again well done and :hug:s for you my friend.

 

[Fadeaway]

Well, I thought I was doing Ok, but my anxiety last night kept me up until 10am this morning. I was doing fine wrote this thread and then went to bed. That is when the anxiety hit. It was rough because I had actually taken more than the prescribed amount of anti-anxiety meds to try and get it under control and it didn't. :oops: Did all my breathing and imagery techniques, and just couldn't get it under control enough to be able to get to sleep.

It could have been worse. No flashbacks, just anxiety.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I hope today you can get in a nap. Isn't it such a waste of meds when they don't kick in? Grrrrrr....yesterday is now in the past. Yeah

 

[seedling]

You did great getting through the day itself. I suppose there will be some effect to going through an anniversary like that. Good for you for using all your techniques. Sometimes it's just big.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Anivesaries can be very rough. My husband died a year ago and I had a terrible time of it. I am looking forward to the days when anniversaries will not affect me so much. It takes time to heal and recover. Please do not be hard on yourself and do meet your needs and wants at this time.