Making Peace With Yourself ( Past And Present)

[The Albatross]

Ayesha, the step-work in AA was my first foray. Steps 4-7 were how I began to feel some peace. It was the result of some rigorous self examination, conscious decision making, and a leap of faith. I began to put less emphasis on what had happened, and more on what I was doing each day in the present moment.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

the step-work in AA

a leap of faith

I would agree with you Alba. I like AA but I am not in the best place with God and I don't plan to be. I know you can try to work AA without so much faith but I am not willing to try right now.

I am not at peace with God.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I think my father was a sociopathic lawyer. Complicated but along the lines of what you were saying, at least I think.

Yes, along those lines though mine is also my heritage along with shame of my parents. I haven't really shared that before becasue it is hard to explain.

I am so confused by it all that I don't really bring it up because I am not ready to talk about it.

 

[mamachick]

I know that feeling. When we finally sort through the confusion, it is often easier to verbalize. I have many such area's. The road to self discovery has no end. I just try to accept the journey.

 

[The Albatross]

For what it's worth, the higher power thing is really optional for some people. I have come to understand that some do not need belief in a higher power, though it is a comfort during trying and anxiety producing times. It really is the rigorous self examination and benefit of the telling with a wiser mentor that is of the greatest benefit to some peace.

 

[saffy]

Hi All

For me finding inner peace came when I got sick of feeling like I did.

I suppose I started fighting myself and telling myself to be more positive. Recognise what it is like to feel positive.

I told myself I hated feeling like I am not worthy, I started to tell myself I was.

That sort of thing.

I also started to really look at people, what their attitude was, what their behaviour was like and how they treated people.

I also looked closely at people who were confident and realised they expected to be treated well and would recognise and treatment a lot quicker and assert themselves quicker to ensure they were treated with respect. But they also believed they were worth it.

They were in peace with themselves because there was no inner conflict or dialogue. There were no intrusive thoughts and a sense of well being.

I studied them closely and realised they are just people same as me. Was an individual same as me. Had flaws, fears and stresses same as me.

I chose to tell my thoughts to be quiet, almost like a silent shout of shut up a minute.

I had to learn to empty my head of all thoughts. It is peaceful like that.

I could then think more rationally and replace anything that came in negative with more positive thoughts. It made me stronger and enabled me to see things more clearly and make more informed decisions that allowed me to continue on a better path. The rest of the time my head was clear of thoughts, in total quiet.

I would only let in good thoughts.

Anyway that is what I think of making peace with myself. :)

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[mamachick]

I do have such a difficult time with the higher power. I feel like if I could overcome this, many things would be easier. I just don't think I can force it for myself. I admire those who have this, maybe it is just not my time right now.

For me, it does not seem like being positive and making peace are the same or even related. I do not feel like a negative person but am very much a realist. One of the things that cause the most disappointment, anger, depression, etc. are when our expectations are far from what actually happens. When I say "this is as good as it gets", that is likely very reality based, and doesn't mean I will quit trying.

Our economy is in bad shape, my health is in bad shape. When there are financial struggles or when I can not accomplish what I want to physically, the reality is that it will not likely get much better. There may be periods that are a little better than the moment, but I do not expect any long term period of stability of a better time. For me, that is acceptance yet is at times very saddening. I am getting older, I have a debilitating illness, I am on a small fixed income, I am getting older. Now what I do with that is a different story. There are times when my attitude dips, but I am pulling myself up much quicker these days. When those dips occur, I am sure that if I had faith in a higher power it would eliminate much of the negative thoughts and fears.

 

[Marie10]

I find that making peace with the past means that I am present in the here and now. I can take the peace back and at times I do but I always find I have to release it, even momentarily.

There are many things that happened which I am angry about and start to blame, think about how unjust it was and how to get revenge in my mind. I then start on a downward spiral, with practice each time this happens I'm able to catch it quicker and make peace with it.

Also, there are times I realize what I can do about it without being very emotionally charged. I hope this makes sense.

What helps me is to have photos up of myself as a child, young and happy. I look at those photos and know that that little girl and think about how I was meant to live, happy and hopeful. This always puts me at ease and in balance. For some, this may not help and I can understand why. I have to remember the innocence before the trauma's, realize that although they happened, I do deserve a fresh start and to honor myself.

 

[mamachick]

Marie10-I did this years ago and it helped so very much. I guess I stopped doing this because I was so much better. Then several things happened and I spiraled down. Right now I cant look at that little girl, but I know that it can work when the time is right.