Marital Question On Cooking

[Calmpeace]

I have had a really stressed relationship ever since my trauma. The problems were there before, but it really set off a ripple effect. I've been trying to work to patch things. I've seen efforts on my husband's part.

However, we have one issue that isn't going away. He is a crazy picky eater. We also have different backgrounds. I've always done the cooking as I'm better at cooking. In fact, most people enjoy my cooking. As with anyone, sometimes things flop. He is very ungrateful about it.
Tonight he left because he didn't like what I cooked. He got angry because I had already cooked and wasn't going to cook again. I'm thinking I will stop cooking. It's too much pressure on our marriage. I'll cook what I want for me and my kids. If he wants some he can have some. If not, it's not my problem. I'm tired of trying. I think it's a reasonable solution. I also think he used it as an excuse to leave. Thoughts?

 

[watundah]

This being the free world 'n all, Id buy him a cookbook and apron for his birthday.
Ungrateful, indeed. Hand on hip, "this aint no restaurant".

 

[Friday]

I have a sandwich&cereal rule in my house; If you don't like it? No worries! :D Make yourself a Sammie or bowl of cereal or whatever. Not everyone is going to like everything. ... But what thou shalt not do is complain about it, make fun of it, be rude about, or in any other way attack someone for trying to do something for ya. We have food. Partake. We have rules about how you treat people. Obey.

 

[Fadeaway]

I think it has to do with how people were parented. My Ex was very picky because his mom catered to it. My husband was raised to always say the food tasted good even if it was burnt, so I never know if he is being honest or not.

The thing is you are not responsible for making sure he eats. There are days I just don't feel like cooking and would rather snack. even though he will protest and complain that there is nothing to eat, I am not obligated to feed him. He can find something in the fridge or he can run out and get a burger or something from the store.

Your husband is a grown man who can feed himself. Not only is he being rude, he is being unreasonable by asking you to cook something else. Stand you ground on this one.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

What a big baby. We all have to eat things we don't especially like otherwise my salad drawer would be filled with chocolate and beer.

Fussy eater to me means childish and ungrateful.

 

[Naoru]

We all have to eat things we don't especially like otherwise my salad drawer would be filled with chocolate and beer.

:laugh::roflmao::tup::tup:

 

[Gs172003]

I have had a really stressed relationship ever since my trauma. The problems were there before, but i...

I agree with everybody else. I started cooking different when I met my now husband because he doesn't like cheese...salmon...etc alot of things I do like and I regret it. He has gotten better at least he will eat vegetables but I should have never started catering to his tastes. His mom would cook for each individual kid when he was growing up and sorry but homie don't play that.

 

[Gs172003]

I have had a really stressed relationship ever since my trauma. The problems were there before, but i...

And why should you stop just because he's being a jerk? It's him that's the problem not you.

 

[Sophie's Daddy]

My now-ex-wife used to always say that of course her cooking always tasted wonderful because she made it with love.

Meals were-and should be-special in more than just physical nourishment, but other ways, too.

Soul food, right?

That said, could it be possible your husband has jealousy issues with your kids because you're the mom in the house but not catering to him?

If so, maybe it's time he steps up and sets the example - of respecting you and your trauma recovery - by putting his own inner child aside and joining you all at the table.

Best wishes to you with it..!

 

[Sophie's Daddy]

I have a sandwich&cereal rule in my house; If you don't like it? No worries! :D Make yourself a Sammie o...

That's a good policy-Trix aren't just for kids in my house, either.

 

[Friday]

Fussy eater to me means childish and ungrateful.

For me I have so many trauma issues surrounding food, that unless it's an emergency? We don't act like it's an emergency. As long as we've got food, there are 10,000 ways to get the necessary nutrition. And that's all I care about. Well. That and rules at home are always different than rules out and about. Just because it's fine to jump on the furniture in one house, doesn't mean it's fine in another house, kind of thing. So while one will eat disgusting things in an emergency or to be polite? That doesn't mean we have to live that way, when we don't have to.

There have been times where we have no money for food (and no way to prove it, or whether or not we can prove it no way to get to a place to get emergency temporary food assistance, assuming they're not broke), and what we've got is it, or we've got nothing, so need to get creative to figure out how we're gonna work this.

<grin> What I've found? Actual emergency most people (kids and adults) seriously step up. Not only no complaining -much less temper tantrums- but some serious creativity & can do spirit!

 

[Gs172003]

For me I have so many trauma issues surrounding food, that unless it's an emergency? We don't act like i...

I will go weeks without going to the grocery cause I grew up in a house with depression era people. I know how to wing it.