Masturbation

[lostforgottensoul]

@Colorado2, I always feel guilty afterwards too. For me it's after sex and masturbation. I honestly think it has to do with sex being and feeling dirty to me. It is associated with the abuse.

I think society has a lot to do with that too.

 

[anonymous]

Does your husband know that he doesn't make you orgasm?

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

what is most difficult for me is I get nothing from release with others, in fact if it happens I shutdown, it mentally hurts, by myself no problem, giving others release ok (Hypersexuality). It probably comes from hypervigilance against being intimate (close) and being hurt.

 

[sigaar]

I think about sex A LOT, and often feel like I need to masturbate. I feel like this got more intense...

You might try to masturbate while having intercourse, I mean stimulate yourself by hand. I would communicate the situation with your partner if I were you. I sometimes jerk off to help an orgasm and my girl friend is okay with that.

 

[Deleted member 35429]

1st, you shouldn't feel guilt from masterbation. Having a sexual hang up like this will prevent you from relaxing enough to climax with your husband.

Are you very young? These questions sound like you must be very young or very sheltered. It's important to work at climaxing with your husband. Buy a vibrator and try mutual masterbation or something.

And a high sex drive can be very normal for women without abuse. Not climaxing during intercourse alone is more the norm for women. I think you need to have a lot more open communication with your spouse and then you will relax enough to have a satisfying sex life.

 

[F_uckYourselves]

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm invalidating your experience in any way because that's definitely not how it's intended, but I do want you to know that if you're having difficulty orgasming from just penis-in-vagina penetration, that's incredibly common even among women who have never been sexually assaulted. Most women, as I understand it, can't orgasm from intercourse alone.

As far as masturbation goes, is the guilt because you feel like you're letting your husband down somehow? Or is it because you feel dirty/bad for doing it in the first place?

 

[Colorado2]

Thanks for all the replies, this is helpful

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

How are you feeling about it now, after reading all these replies to your thread? Does it help you to feel more "normal" and less guilty or ashamed?

 

[sigaar]

Many people feel disappointed after the orgasm, i do.This has more to do with neurotransmitters than with guilt etcetera.I mean a lot of people really want to disappear after the orgasm.A Dutch comedian once said what is the ideal girl friend, a woman who satisfies all perverted wishes without being slutty about it and who will essentially shut up and who will change into a crate of beer and some good friends after the orgasm.I hope I do not offend any one, it is his art.

 

[Colorado2]

Thanks everyone - all this feedback is definitely helpful and helps me feel a little more normal