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Sufferer Maximum Federal Penitentiary, Hostage, USMC, & Childhood Trauma. 10 years without issue until MVA last March.

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I had treatment after the fact , i was on meds ,i cant remember what, i know and remember xanax initially saved me, the reason i got treatment i was freaking out one morning, i called my buddy to come over , he couldnt at the time, so i went to him, i paced his apartment , he said , look ill take you to see a dr , i was reluctant , but we got in my truck and i drove , something happened at a stoplight (busiest street in town) , i froze , i couldnt lift my foot from the brake, i wasnt even really respnding to my friend, all i know is he took over, next thing i remember the doc said put these xanax under your tongue i did, i felt better, but i dont remember anything else, i couldnt drive my truck for nearly a year afer that and couldnt leave my room ( let alone the house ) for just as long
That's some heavy stuff you're going through. Seems like a server freeze reaction. Some say isolation is a periode of grief a person can go through after a life of traumatic events. What psychologist are you seeing now?
 
I was doing fine until last year when i had a bad accident, things started changing then in january sonething triggered me and I started down the rabbit hole again, i was seeing therapist but i stopped as of yesterday, i feel like no one really understands what the f*ck it is with me
 
Because it became a thing about religion , his healing, im ok with him, i have respect for him, i get it god was his way as he overcame adversity , but, its not my way, ive tried to rationalize religion, but its no different than the law or anything else that has become an institution,i dont want to go into the whole book thing and god , or what ever you want to call your supreme being (martian, yea why not,lol!)?
 
Because it became a thing about religion , his healing, im ok with him, i have respect for him, i get it god was his way as he overcame adversity , but, its not my way, ive tried to rationalize religion, but its no different than the law or anything else that has become an institution,i dont want to go into the whole book thing and god , or what ever you want to call your supreme being (martian, yea why not,lol!)?
That's weird to have a therapist that was using religion in their therapy. Very strange. I wouldn't like that either. Can't you find someone else?
 
That's weird to have a therapist that was using religion in their therapy. Very strange. I wouldn't like that either. Can't you find someone else?
Very similiar to religion, they all want you to see things there way remember dad saying " its my way or the highway" i chose the highway dad
 
That's a shame though. There are plenty of good therapists that don't use religion and it sounds like you could use the psychological support to help you navigate your thoughts and feelings. You've been through alot in your life. What was/is your relationship like with your dad?
 
It was ok, i didnt really do much with either parent, theyre still alive and i try to be there for them,they provied for me and my brother a good upbringing , but i dont think there was quite the love we needd though
 
Hi!
Yes..marines are nuts (says the chair force girl! 😀)
Did the military thing, it was a shitshow, came home, went to work in 911 for a long time and then one day BAAMMMMMM! My head exploded. All that stuff I'd been ignoring finally caught up with me and my life fell apart. And I had no idea why.

Was lucky enough to work with a combat vet who talked me down and gave me some rules to live by, got therapy, found this site, got my disability and these days things are easier. It's still a struggle, but it's easier

This forum is where I found a huge part of my support system, because people here jusy get it. So welcome to the island of misfit toys!
 
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