Maybe He's Right...

[Ojil]

He says he can't be in a relationship with me because he doesn't know how. Maybe he just doesn't want me...but nobody ever did. Ugly duckling, no good for nothing or no one. Reality always sorts you out, stupid. Get it through your thick head this time, good things don't happen to you.

 

[Ilej]

I'm really sorry you're feeling low. But two quick thoughts: first, if someone says they can't be with you, then they can't be with you. As the film title goes: 'he's not that into you'. Second, why shoot yourself with arrows of negative thoughts like: 'ugly duckling, nobody wants you, stupid, thick head'...and who's voice is that? Would a caring person say such things to someone they cared about? And if you say them about yourself to yourself, might it be time to be a bit kinder and cut it out? It's a really negative spiral to get into. Some people like us, some don't. Unless you speak to him the way your are speaking to yourself, he probably just doesn't feel you click. Ryan Gosling probably wouldn't think I click with him. It doesn't make me stupid or ugly. You are the one saying that and it's cruel. Its also a way to distract yourself from hurt. Let yourself feel the hurt, console and soothe yourself with kindness, be caring to yourself and that kindness will rub off on others. I wish you luck and the courage to see that negative talk is the real enemy here. Best, J

 

[Guje]

good things don't happen to you.

If that's true? Continue the thought. Just means you need to make them happen, your darn self. Do good things for you. Doesn't make them worth less. The opposite. Something you do on purpose? Or something you work towards? Is always worth more than something that just sort of randomly happens.

There are a lot of things I/you/we cannot make happen. And a lot of things that no matter how much we want them, nor how hard we work? Either simply won't happen, or are different than we thought they would be. Relationships are a good example of that. Even the best relationships can go badly, or end too soon. But that doesn't mean that there aren't an almost infinite number of good things that we can make happen, that we can do, and that we can work toward, and do happen.

Good things :) Worth not just waiting around for.

 

[Ogife]

Is he all that great for you to put yourself down like that? Does he make you feel worth anything?

If not then bugger him off. He's not doing you any favors by sticking around is he.. in fact could be making you worse.

Patience is a virtue they say, and with PTSD we need alot of that!!☺ so keep that in mind, good things will happen you just can't rush it or expect it...

 

[Ota]

He says he can't be in a relationship with me because he doesn't know how.

He could just be telling the truth.