Maybe Ptsd...? But No Anger? Car Crash

[Autumn]

I know it would be better to see a professional, but I would just like to ask a few questions before I do to kind of prepare myself. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

A few years back I was involved in a really bad car crash, and ever since then I've been experiencing a lot of the symptoms that places I have read online say are often a part of PTSD... things like feeling very apathetic constantly, uninterested in most things that used to interest me, and my attention span has not been very good either...

I also find it almost impossible to get into cars without experiencing some form of panic attack, and although it isn't too much of an issue since I catch trains or use my bicycle to get everywhere, it is still inconvenient.

The main question I wanted to ask is about anger. I've seen many people writing about how PTSD is pretty much always associated with anger, constant alertness, irritability and stuff like that, but I never seem to experience any of that at all? I am definitely very alert when I am near cars, but under most circumstances I am quite calm and level-headed, I think. If anything, I think I am unusually difficult to anger? Apathy seems to be the main thing I feel, really...

Could it be something like "mild" PTSD, or is there a different name for it if it is not as bad...? Although the distance I have felt between myself and others has been difficult, I have not been lashing out at all, so I have been just dealing with it for now... Maybe just post-traumatic stress, rather than a disorder? I have no idea...

I can get through my day-to-day life just fine, normally, so I haven't spoken to anyone before now, but I would like to be sure.

 

[silkleaves]

Well, the thing to keep in mind is that PTSD does not affect all of us the same way... I do think there are varying degrees, ranging from mild as you put it, to more severe... In that there are some people who have PTSD but are still able to function, be in relationships, go to work etc..., while others have PTSD and cannot function / work / maintain any relationships etc at all and on disability for it because it is that crippling in everyday life. I myself swang from being able to handle life pretty well, to now where I feel completely useless to do anything more often than not.

For your question about anger, to have PTSD, you don't have to check off "everything" on the list...meaning, you could have some symptoms and not others. I refer to group a lot here, because that was my first experience of being exposed to other people with PTSD and how differently it can affects peoples lives (this forum being the second..) and there were some who had some major anger issues, while others did not.

I recall one guy who turned his pain outwards...he lashed out at his wife and kids...and was constantly getting into physical fights with neighbors and had been arrested a few times because of altercations with people. It reached a point where his family was scared of him, and he had to go to anger management too..he was scared to lose his family.

But then there were those of us who turned our pain inwards... lashing out instead at ourselves, everything from self-depreciating thoughts to self harm, but have never shown any outward anger towards anyone. But that doesn't really mean that its milder, just that we expressed ourselves in a different way.

Anyway, definitely a good idea to go to therapy... I wish I had gone back when I was managing life fine, to be able to learn healthy coping skills, before I went through the major stressor that caused me to snap. I waited until I was at rock bottom and the end of my rope, believing that since I was able to manage just fine for so many years, that all I needed to do was pull myself together and I'd be fine again, instead I got so much worse that I worry my life will never be the same again. So yeah, I'm a big advocate of getting help early!!

 

[Lucycat]

A few years back I was involved in a really bad car crash,

I also find it almost impossible to get into cars without experiencing some form of panic attack,

If the incident was that long ago, and still bothering you then it is worth seeking professional help.

If anything, I think I am unusually difficult to anger?

I don't get angry at all. Only 2 or 3 times in my entire life, so no, anger is not universal. Don't let that thought stop you seeking the help you deserve.

 

[Wyakin]

I agree with @Lucycat anger is not universal. I gave been diagnosed with PTSD but it takes a lot to anger me. I tend to shut down when I am at breaking point.

 

[anthony]

PTSD comes in many forms, from mild to complex. I didn't say little, because to get close to the PTSD spectrum then you're enduring some daily discomfort and weekly symptom fluctuations. Adjustment Disorder is a possible, being that you're actually having panic / anxiety when faced with getting into cars, yet you can do it... and then some other attributes such as lack of attention and interest in things once were. You would have to sit the criterion assessment which could help determine whether you're simply within the anxiety disorder spectrum or trauma and stressor spectrum, which are Adjustment Disorder, PTSD and a few others.

Even if you do have PTSD, the disorder is because once you have it, even though you can fully recover, if exposed to further trauma the chances of your symptoms worsening is high, and with ongoing trauma, you're moving closer to the lifetime PTSD spectrum.