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trying2movefwd

Diamond Member
I should be able
To work
To remember
To forget
To forgive
To move on
To get out
To stay in
To not need a doctor
To not need therapy
To live

But
When I work I brake down
When I remember I can't sleep
When I forget I needed to remember
When I forgive it's painful
When I try to move on I take steps back
When I get out I get anxious
When I stay in I get cabin fever
If I didn't have a doctor who knows where I would be
Without a therapist I wouldn't have survived.
What's it mean to live like this? Am I just merely surviving? These thoughts take me to a dark place, is living worth it? My heart knows it is, but my head still wonders. :(
 
Surviving is a step towards thriving. Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving is an informative and inspiring read. It's natural for the head to wonder, but listen to your heart- it is soooo worth it!!!!!
 
I am in the temporary head space of...what's the point.
I say temporary, because it is..it always changes...everytime.
I am depressed and that always takes me down dark hallways of the PTSD haunted house.
I don't live in that house anymore....but all sorts of things cause or make me revisit.
I've worked too hard to move out of there...but is is familiar...I hate it...but I have done some things in that old place.
There are notes all about.
Main one being. Feelings Are Not Facts.
Others...
There IS light..there is hope.
Take care of yourself.
Share...get validation it is temporary.
And anything else you need to verify it is only temporary.

You are not going to hurt for time eternal.
Sending gentle hugs...I understand.
 
If it helps at all i have just recently been battling SI and am coming out the other side. Coming here to the forum and posting even if it sounds rubbish helps. As much as it doesn't feel it at the time SI is only temporary and although i cant promise unicorns and rainbows on the other side you do get glimpses of hope and life. That light still looks a bit pale for me but it is much brighter than the darkness of SI.
 
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