News Me too?

[Deanna]

What an apt thread ... I posted a #metoo today on FB and it kinda blew up in my face.

My head i...

That's sad. It sounds like your brother is more embarrassed than anything else.I appreciated your honesty in your post. Me, myself... it's no ones business.

 

[anonymous]

He then blasted me saying If I was so uncomfortable why did I post it on social media for everyone to see.

Well to me this comes across like - 'you should have kept quiet..why try to now raise awareness of the scale of the problem if it previously made you so uncomfortable' ..like you weren't allowed to suddenly be really really brave and speak up about it..it feels like he might as well have told you to keep your mouth shut..

Which was downright ignorant, idiotic and cruel of him.

 

[LoveTea]

I wish it were an option for me to post it—I’m not sure I would, but it is not really safe for me to right now considering I have a few family members with access to my social media. I’m still not sure I would post it though. Only 2 people know what happened to me and I don’t feel like it would benefit me right now to share it with more people. (Also I rarely if ever post on social media so people would probably make a big deal out of it).

Honestly it is hard for me to see right now when other people are posting it. I have very mixed feelings on the whole thing. On the one hand, I am all for spreading awareness and trying to make things change, but on the other I feel like what happened to me is being clumped into the same category as cat calling. Cat calling in itself is unpleasant—I am not trying to deny that fact. I know this is not the intention of so many people sharing their stories, but being clumped into that category makes it feel like my experience is being belittled—that it is somehow on the same level.

Don’t get me wrong, I want those people to be able to share their stories too. It is not their fault but I don’t want a reminder of what happened to me everytime I log into social media.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

Somehow this statement by her just nearly did my heart in.

She is very fortunate to have you. Hugs to your heart :hug:

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

The responses here have given me some insight into how 2 simple words can really have varying responses and reactions. I still support those who decided to post those 2 words. And I still feel posting it openly isn't right for me at this time. But, I did something.

Since posting it openly was a question I couldn't quite shake I considered another way of going about it. I decided to send a message to a family member I trust who didn't know my story. I told her I thought maybe I could confide something in her that I wasn't ready to share on social media. She said if I was ready she was honored and willing. And then I said "Me Too".

It was in a private conversation. It was clear I was asking to keep it between us and yet I still in my way participated in the trend. I didn't do it just for the sake of it trending on twitter. I did it because, I kept rolling over it in my head. I wanted to. I didn't want to. I wanted to. I didn't want to. What that told me was that while I didn't feel completely confident about saying it openly I apparently did want to say it out loud.

I seemed to want to own the fact to someone who didn't know my story that I'm a survivor. My family member was supportive and warm and it opened a dialogue I appreciated. Maybe one day I'll want to say it openly. But, for now I just wanted to make 2 truths clear for myself. One was that I could say it in a way that I was comfortable with. And two that I'm a survivor.

I hope the conversation persists. I hope those who want to and are comfortable will keep posting it. I hope the words are received with support and compassion.

I get the concept of "why am I just hearing about this now and like this?" from a family member. But, for me personally I feel it's not about how it gets told. It's about a survivor finally being able to tell in whatever way they feel safe enough to do it. If I've learned anything in this whole experience it's that silence isn't the answer. And if people find it hard to hear for the first time in such a public way that's them having a hard time. The statement in this case is about the survivor not the audience.

 

[Teasel]

Lovely post @BlackbirdSinging Glad for you being able to take part in a self caring way :-)

 

[Deleted member 41765]

I agree @BlackbirdSinging !!!

 

[Deleted member 541]

@BlackbirdSinging Wish the like button had a 2000. So well said!!!!

 

[Cyberluddite]

Tell me where you see the victim blaming?

Or are you a perpetual victim who sees victim blaming...

This is why many women don't speak up. :notworthy: But as a male survivor, I wouldn't know anything about PTSD.

 

[Sandstone]

What do you think is the right response to someone who has posted ' Me too' on Facebook? Should we ask them about it, in real life or online? Or regard it as an expression of solidarity, and let it go by?

I have a personal reason for asking this. My daughter has posted it. I know of no serious events in her past. Do I ask, or let her tell me when she is ready? Personally, I'd rather avoid it, but that is because I don't want to talk about my own experience. But I want to support her.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

I've viewed it largely as social media solidarity and have not asked anyone who's posted a "Me too" nor has anyone asked me. If they had, my response would definitely would've been given off line.

This is a really hard one @Sandstone. I'm not sure what I would do...

 

[Justmehere]

I have a personal reason for asking this. My daughter has posted it. I know of no serious events in her past

It could likely be nothing serious at all

If she's a minor, I'd mention you noticed it and that you are open to talking if she ever needs to talk....

If she's an adult, do what's best for you.